


Unite The Gays

by ExceptionalWobbles, orphan_account



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Adoption, Anxiety, Depression, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Only in one chapter though, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rape/Non-con Elements, there'll be a warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-02 17:02:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8675509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExceptionalWobbles/pseuds/ExceptionalWobbles, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This is an adoption fic where Alex and John adopt a 16-year-old named Andy. We have been working on this for a while but I just recently decided to start posting it, which means the first few chapters will go up pretty quickly and the rest will go up as we write them.





	1. Alex squealed and jumped in his seat

“Alex, can you please just sign the paper?” John asked. Alex took the pen in his left hand.

“Wrong hand,” John muttered. Alex quickly switched his hands and scribbled down a signature.

“That’s my signature. Honestly, how many times have you forged now?” John sighed. Alex didn’t answer and he scribbled his signature next to his mess up. Then he crossed the previous one out and signed so that the people would know that HE had made the mistake. Once they left the office Alex squealed with joy.

That night Alex layed in bed next to John. Their noses were touching.

“I just can’t believe we’re going to adopt a child!” Alex whispered.

“I can. Just please, don’t squeal as he/she grows up, don’t be a weird dad,” John said.

“Hey, you don’t be a weird dad!” Alex responded, punching John a little.

“Hey!”

“HEY!” Soon both were standing on the bed throwing pillows at each other and laughing hysterically (well, the laughing part was mostly Alex). Exhausted, they both collapsed on the bed. “What if he or she doesn’t like us? What if…” Alex worried.

“Shh, you're panicking again. Count.One, two, three, inhale. _Un, deux, trois, expirer._ The kid is going to be fine. Don't let your anxiety tell you otherwise.” John reassured. “I just looked over the papers, and it looks like their name is Andrea Hamilton. How is that for coincidence?” Alex just looked at John with wide eyes. “You can't be serious.” Alex rolled his eyes.

“Are you sure about that? Do you want to see for yourself?” John challenged. Alex took a look at the papers as his eyes widened even more, which John didn't even think was possible. “Yeah, and they're here from Nevis after their mother died.” John said, fueling Alex’s surprise. “This can't be a coincidence…” Alex finally managed to say. “But there’s no other explanation. Guess we’ll just have to wait a week until they come.”

Meanwhile Andrea was writing in his journal. Which NO ONE knew about. He intended to keep it that way too.

 

_I'm going to another foster home in a week. I've kinda given up on hoping that they won't be completely awful, because they all have been. All 14 have been abusive shitholes, and there’s no reason to think that the 15th will be different. Later that day I met Mrs. Washington._

_“So, what is this home going to be like?” I ask. Mrs. Washington gives me a folder with information in it. Alexander Hamilton and John Laurens. Hm. We have the same name, well, kind of. I mean, they’re gay, so they probably won't have a problem with me being trans and using he/him pronouns. Hopefully, they weren’t counting on a daughter._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback, suggestions, and constructive criticism are all welcome and appreciated!


	2. The doorbell ringed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy(Andrea) arrives at the Hamilton-Laurens household and is a little overwhelmed...

“John! The door!” Alex shouted, to scared to see their new kid.

“Coming!” John ran down the stairs and forced Alex to come with him. A beautiful girl with short hair awaited them. She was looking down and was dressed in black. They didn’t know she was trans. Yet.

“You must be Andrea!” Alex said over excitedly.

“You can just call me Andy.” Andy mumbled.

“Alright. We can help you with the rest of your stuff, if you want.” Alex offered.

“This is all I have.”Andy whispered.

“Well, still, come on. I'll show you your room! John, could you stay here and talk to Mrs. Washington?” Alex asked and before an answer was given he had taken Andy’s stuff and moved upstairs.

“Alright. Hello, I’m John Laurens, and you're Andy’s caseworker?” John asked.

“Yes, and I wanted to tell you a few things about Andrea. She has problems with anxiety and usually has panic attacks when meeting new people. She has a past full of abuse and death. This is her fifteenth placement and just wanted to tell you these things to warn you.” Mrs. Washington stated with real concern.

“Wow. Okay then. I'm sure we'll be just fine. Thank you though.” John replied taken aback. John sighed. This was going to be an adventure.

“So, this is your room. It doesn't have a lot, I know. But we can get things when we go to the store tomorrow.” Alex said.

“OK, but I want you to know that as long as you don’t try to care about me we’ll be fine. My other placements didn’t work for three reasons. 1, people tried to care about me. 2, I’m 16. No one wants a 16 year old. And 3…” after that Andy muttered something that Alex didn’t really catch.      

The next day Andy woke up early. Really early. He hummed a song and waited. Alex and John came to wake him up so he pretended to be asleep. Later they went to the store.

“You can pick out clothes and anything you want to make your room your own. After that, we’ll go and get school supplies.” Alex said.

“Um, can I shop in the men's section? I also have something to tell you guys when we get home.” Andy timidly asked, afraid they wouldn’t let her.

“Of course! You can wear anything you want.” Alex smiled. She picked out a few band shirts and a casual button-up, and some black jeans. They went and got all the general supplies for a sophomore year in high school. After checking out, they went home.

“So, I, uh, just wanted to tell you guys that, uh, I’m trans. Please, don’t kick me out.” Andy presented as they walked through the door. He winced and flinched.

“Why would we kick you out?” Alex and John asked frantically in unison.

“Because all the other foster homes forced me to be a girl, but I guess you’re different. I’m going to go to my room now.” Andy cried.


	3. I can't breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anxiety and pizza. Because pizza makes everything better.

_My heart feels like it’s going to pound its way out of my chest. I feel dizzy, and I can’t stop shaking. I do hear either John or Alex knock on the door. “Andy? Are you okay?” One of them asks. No answer. “I’m going to come in, okay?” No answer. John slowly opens the door. “Andy?” John cautiously asks as opens the door and walks in. John sees me shaking on the bed. He walks over and sits on the bed, trying to comfort me.  “Shh, it’s okay. Try counting. That’s what I tell Alex when he has a panic attack. One, two, three, inhale. Un, deux, trois, expirer. Try to even out your breathing while you count.” John says soothingly as my panic attack goes away. “Thanks.” Suddenly things are better and I am sobbing. John doesn’t do anything which is nice. All he does is stroke my hair. Which seems kind of weird, looking back, but it was comforting at the time._

"He had a panic attack." John told Alex. “But he’s fine now, just **_SHOOK_ **.”Alex gasped as he puts his hand over his mouth. He got up and went to Andy’s room.

“Hey, Andy? I don’t want to make it a bigger deal than it has to be, because I know that can get annoying, but I wanted to talk about what happened.” He murmured.

“Okay then… Uh, it started when my mother died from a fever. It was just me and her, and then she died. I was an orphan. I was taken to the US and from there I had my first placement. They were awful. The 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th, 12th, 13th, and 14th homes were just as bad. I have physical and emotional scars from all those terrible houses. No one at the adoption agency believed me, since the parents themselves said that I was the one who was excessively violent. Ever since, I get really anxious when I meet someone new/get a new placement.” Andy responded.

“Alright, just wanted to see if you’re okay. We’re going to get food soon. Is sausage and pepperoni good?” Alex asked as he changed the subject.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

_That went surprisingly well.  I guess these guys really ARE different from the others. They seem like they understand what I’m going through. SKINK(The best segway, thank you Phil). The New Voices Young Writers competition entries opened up about 2 weeks ago, and I’m definitely looking into entering. I’ve always been pretty good at writing but I’ve never actually entered a competition. I’ll be back when I get more information._

"Andy! Pizza's here!" John yells. Andy closed her journal and ran downstairs.

“So, how do you feel about going to school tomorrow?” Alex asked, begging for information.

“Uh, I mean, at least it’s not too far into the year. I could find a teacher to help me with the Young Writers’ contest.”

John gave Alex a look that said, “He’s just like you. Writer, passionate.” Alex rolled his eyes in return. John turned to look at Andy, “Alex could definitely give you some tips with that.” John grinned madly and Andy was beginning to like this family.

John looked at the time. “Uh, it’s like 10:30. You should probably start getting ready to go to sleep, unless you want to wake up feeling really _bleh_.”

“Alright, fine.” Andy went back to his room and got into pajamas. He went under the covers and had one of the most restful night’s sleep he’s had in awhile. Maybe this place isn’t what Andy had expected.


	4. High School

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Andy's first day at a new high school and it's proving to be...well...we'll see.  
> Also sorry if it wasn't clear before, but italics is Andy writing about the experience.

**Andy's POV**

High school. High school. Stress. High school. Oh my god. High school. Even though this is my sophomore year and I've techinically already survived a year, I'm still super nervous and stressed. I get ready, eat, write a note, stick it on the door, and leave(the note was just because I left before they woke up). I hop on the train and just listen to all the My Chemical Romance, Black Veil Brides, Get Scared, Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce the Veil, and other artists on my playlist, I can handle, which is about an indefinite amount. I finally get to go to The Clinton School for Writers and Artists! They have the best writer program in the city! I pause the playlist and just stand there, amazed and slightly intimidated by how huge the school is. I go get my schedule, go find my locker(which was easier than expected!), and find my first class right before it starts. My first class is Algebra 2 and I’m okay at math. It’s not my favorite subject but I don’t hate it either. Then we had History. Usually Language Arts subjects tend to come easier to me. I had a foreign language class which was Spanish, which I don’t even know why I take it since i’m fluent in French, Spanish, and English. Chemistry, blah, blah, blah, and then… AP LITERATURE! This is the only class that I had an advanced placement in for reasons that I have kinda already stated. We had lunch, but the amount of classes before lunch and after lunch is not even. We have 5 classes before lunch and 3 after. I actually made a friend! Yep, their name is Jacqueline, but they go by Jack. She isn’t trans, she just doesn’t like her full name. I met her in Lit so I think I friendship will go pretty well. Believe it or not, we actually already have a project essay thingy due in a week and a half. Jack and I became partners and now she’s coming over to the apartment to work on it, since we’re both overachievers. Gym has to be my worst subject EVER because I am not athletic and athleticism will never be my strong suit. Finally, I have my two electives: Creative Writing and Debate. They were pretty uneventful for today since we were just doing first day stuff and getting syllabuses. I met up with Jack outside the school went the day ended and we took the train back to my apartment.

**Third Person**

Andy opened the door and quickly showed Jack around before they got quickly to work. John came back from the clinic where he works and saw Andy was home. With someone else too.

“Hi, Andy.” John greeted as he joined the two at the table. Jack hold out her hand and they shake hands. “Hello, I’m Jacqueline, but call me Jack. I’m Andy’s partner for a literature project.” Jack says as she introduced herself.

“It’s okay that I invited her over?” Andy asked.

“Of course!” John laughed. This kid! When is he going to learn that we actually like him!

“Alright then. Alex’ll be home at 5-5:45. How do you feel about Linguine? Andy and Jack, if you’re staying for dinner?” John continued.

Jack shot her mom a text asking.

“My mom said I could stay so, yeah, that sounds amazing.” Jack responds. John prepares the pasta within 20 minutes or so, just as Alex returns from the firm. John kisses Alex swiftly and puts the food on the table. Andy and Jack agree to keep working after dinner as they wash up. Food. Jack gets a text from her mom telling to start coming home. They look at the time. _Oh. It’s 8:00._

“Bye, Andy, I have to go. See you tomorrow!” Jack says as she leaves.

“So. Jack.” John inquires as he scoots closer. “It seems you guys are…you know.” Andy narrows his eyes at John at the same time that Alex elbowed him in the side.

“I told you not to say things like that!” Alex whispers as he asks John to follow him into the living room. “You’re being a weird dad! It’s his 3rd night here and you already did something like that!”

“I’m sorry, I just… You did see how they would look up from their work and look at each other, though, right?” John attempts to mend the situation.

“It doesn’t matter! This is not the thing he needs to worry about at this point in the year. Or at all this year.”

“I’m gonna go to sleep now. Goodnight.” Andy says.

**Andy POV**

He said that. But seriously, that was really cringe. I can’t think of anything else to say about that situation, because it was so bad(yeah A ndy that’s totally the reason). Shut up! I have two doctors’ appointments scheduled this week. One to the physician, and one to the psychiatrist. Seriously though, why? I mean, I do know why, the physician because everyone needs to go there, and the psychiatrist because of my anxiety, but still! I’m just not looking forward to it. At least I have four days until Saturday.

On Saturday, John woke up at 9:00, which is an awful time to wake up on a Saturday. I have to see my dumb psychiatrist. And there is a new one. AGAIN. Why can’t I just stay in one place? Thankfully, I think John and Alex actually might like me here, so this might be the last move. Of course, I don’t want to jump to conclusions. I’ve only been here for a week. They are still a bit imposing and seem to really like me. Almost TOO caring. Like for example, the reason John woke up at that weird time in the morning, he was making breakfast. He made _fucking crepes._ Crepes. I’m not royalty, I can do with a bowl of stale cheerios. I roll my eyes and pretend to not like it when in reality they are the best things I have ever eaten, which isn’t much, but STILL. John looks at me like he knows what’s going through my head. He probably does. I finish eating, wash my plate, and go get dressed. Good thing I’m not one of those teenagers who really puts much thought into what they’re wearing. I just wear all black. Then everything matches. Honestly. This is the best solution EVER. Then I go back down and John asks if I’m ready to go. We take the train to the psychiatrist.


	5. I hope he's okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy goes to the psychiatrist, and really likes her.

Some mind reading between John and Alex

**I hope he’s okay.**  
**I don’t want him to be like me, almost literally, breaking down to pieces when faced with certain situations. But not only that, but I want him to be able to trust us and tell us these things. Obviously I don’t blame him because I know what he’s been through, I just want him to know that we’re not like them. Of course, how would he know that? He’s only been here for a week. The other homes were probably good for a week, too.**  
_I think he’ll be fine. Alex definitely needs to stop fretting. We’ll see what the doctor says and we’ll go from there…_  
**Please stop using your soulmate powers and reading my mind.**  
_Gladly_.  
**I SAID STOP!**  
_Whoopsies. Anyway, let’s get some french fries. With Laf._

 

 **Andy's POV**  
I can tell they are reading each other’s minds when they are exchanging glances. Like right now.  
“Hopefully no one’s thinking about me,” I murmur to get them to stop. They do. My physciatrist is young. She is a girl. She has long black hair that is as curly as Laffy’s. She has bright blue eyes.  
“Hi!” she says. She doesn’t ask me to sit down or anything. All she does is lean against the wall and starts chatting. A one sided conversation.  
“Hi, I’m Sabrina and you must be Andy. I get that you’re trans? That’s interesting. You know, I was dating a trans dude once. Yeah, he dumped me. In front of a dumpster. I guess thats what I get for telling him GREAT puns.”  
“What are some of the jokes you told him?” I ask. I don’t think she can hear me but she does.  
“It’s great that you talk! You know I met a trans girl once and she didn’t talk at all. I wasn’t sure about you since your paperwork was given to me with a lot of ketchup on it.”  
I chuckle.  
“LAUGHING! THAT’S A GREAT SIGN!” she says and I sit down next to her. We chat and smile. I like Sabrina.  
“See you later!” I say.  
“So, how’d it go?” I spit out.  
“Fine, I think I might need to go again. Tomorrow. If that’s ok with you and Sabrina,” He says.  
“Okay, I’ll go ask Ms. Cabinet-Maker,”  
“She’s married?” The words slip out of my mouth too soon.  
“No, That’s just my last name,” Sabrina laughs.  
“Oh.”  
_GOD ALEX, don’t you realize ANYTHING? He likes Sabrina. That’s why he wants to come back!_  
**No!**  
_OHMYGOD FINE!_

  
Sabrina is GREAT! I can’t wait to see her again. And I do. It is Sunday and Sabrina great. We enjoy our time and leave. The next day I drag my feet in the dirt, playing with my hair that has grown to my shoulders, “I really should get this hair cut,” I murmur looking up. Then something stops me. A girl. She has black hair that is in a braid that goes down to her back. I stare at her hazel eyes. OHMYGOD. Jack. Ohnoohnoohnoohnoohno… I CAN NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON JACK. John will be super ‘i told you so’. Sabrina. I need to talk to her. I might be the only person who has this close a relationship with their psychiatrist. But I need to talk to her. Luckily, I have a meeting for tonight. The day drags on and all I can look at are Jack’s freckles on her face. 11. I’ve counted. She is wearing a long teal skirt and a black shirt. How could I fall for a girl this quick? I tell Sabrina everything. She says to keep our friendship sustained, and not to come on too strong. She says that there might be a chance she could feel the same way, but to not assume ANYTHING. Just keep being friends, keep being friends.

-John-

Andy comes home REALLY flustered. “What’s up?” I ask  
“Oh. Nothing, er, nothing important.” He responds.  
“What do mean by that? Here, sit down.”  
“No, seriously, it’s nothing. Plus, I have to work on homework.”  
“Alright, just making sure. Alex’ll be home soon”  
I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. He LIKES Jack. I can tell. Again, I’m a crazy dude but IT’S TRUE. BTW am I the only parent who ships their kids? Probably not, but I’m probably the only one who does it coolly. Other parents are like what’s a ship? But I have first hand EXPERIENCE! _Wait, I just realized, Andy turns 17 in 4 months! I cry._  
**No you cry in the tea which you hurl in the sea when you see Georgie go by.**  
_He’s gonna be an adult soon! He’s gonna go to college soon…. Alex’s home!_  
**Yay.**  
_Guess what?_  
**What?**  
_Andy likes Jack._  
**What?!**  
_I know right? I predicted it and you dismissed it, but it turns out I. Was. RIGHT! Also how do you feel about another kid? I know that was very spontaneous, so just give me your honest opinion._  
**I mean why not?**

  
Alex and John are doing it again. The glances. Ugh, tomorrow I have to take the anxiety meds that Sabrina prescribed. I don’t want to take them but I know I need them. With the stress of encroaching deadlines and now Jack, my anxiety levels have been high. I’m not getting full on panic attacks but I haven’t been getting GREAT sleep and my breathing often gets a little uneven. SKINK. Since it’s wintery, I was actually thinking of inviting Jack to go ice skating with me. I know. But hopefully she doesn’t see it as me trying to make a move.  
Andy promptly walked to Jack.  
“So, do you consider me a friend?” he asked.  
“Yeah!” Jack replied sort of looking away from her locker.  
“So, would you like to go ice skating with me?”  
“Sure!”  
“Also, no reason, are you straight?”  
“I’m Pan,”  
“OK, good.”  
“Wait, is this like a date?”  
Andy read her facial expression. It didn’t seem too disgusted.  
“Not unless you want it to be,”  
“What if I do?”  
“Then it will be,” Andy nervously faltered.  
“It’s a date then, see you Saturday,” As she walked off her thumb brushed Andy’s. Andy smiled.


	6. Hm. Mysterious Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ice sGAYting. Ok maybe not. But I had to make the pun. We also have "the power of physics and shit".  
> This is the chapter where it turns into part texting fic. The usernames are pretty obvious, but I'll clarify anyways:  
> turtle boi - The one and only, John Laurens  
> mulligay - HERCULES MULLIGAN  
> frenchiest fry - LAFAYETTE  
> HAMburger - His name is Alexander Hamilton

**John's POV**

“What are you smiling about?”  
“Nothing, and TOTALLY not the fact THAT I HAVE A DATE WITH JACK!” Andy squealed unable to contain himself.  
I remembered when Alex squealed as we were going through the adoption process. This reminds me. Oh right, I need to tell him about her, Ondine Mavis Hamilton-Laurens. The girl we’re adopting. He’s in a good mood so hopefully this will go smoothly.  
“So,” I start. “Alex and I wanted to ask you how you felt about a sister, ”  
“Umm… fine I guess,”  
“Cool, she’ll be here next month,”  
“WHAT?” He bursts out.  
“She’ll be here next month,” I repeat.  
“Okay, Sorry,” Andy murmured.

**Mind Reading**

_My parenting skills did NOT come to the rescue because I didn’t detect alarm in Andy’s voice._  
**OBVIOUSLY, he is afraid that we won’t/don’t like him and we’re replacing him. GOD JOHN, YOU REALLY ARE STUPID SOMETIMES.**  
_HOW DARE YOU!_  
**Well, it’s true, unless you’d like to say that he was already in a bad mood. He was on such a high from talking with Jack and you just brought it down.**  
_I’m sorry. I figured that since he was in a good mood that it would go smoothly…_  
**I love you, but you might want to work on your eloquence with these kind of things.**  
_I’m sorry…_

 

 **Andy's POV**  
I really don’t know how I feel about this. I mean, a sibling? It’s just, what if they want to replace me? I mean, I am going off to college soon, but I really was starting to think they liked having me here. Maybe I’m just a bother. Maybe they never wanted me here in the first place…

  
I’ve been kinda down all week, just counting the days until Saturday, and it’s finally here! I’m finally gonna go ice skating with Jack and maybe I could get consolation from her. We agreed to meet at 4:30-5:00, and I’m really excited if you couldn’t already tell. I leave my room, which I haven’t done willingly in the past few days, to see John making his goddamn crepes again. “Oh, Andy! So, I wanted to talk.” he greets me with.  
“Okay then… “  
“I’m sorry for popping the sibling thing out of nowhere. And no, we’re not trying to replace you, and yes, we do like having you here.”  
“Oh, uh, yeah it’s fine. It was really just the surprise factor that really SHOOK me.”  
“Okay then. I made food.”  
I sit down and eat the fucking crepes that John made, which are really good, just like every other thing that he’s ever made.  
“I’m gonna go and check on Alex. He was on his 5th cup of coffee last night trying to get more work done, but I forced him to sleep.”

 

 **John's POV**  
I go into me and Alex’s room to see him still sleeping. Good. He’s so addicted to the over-achievement, so he would go 3 days without sleeping and it’s worrying. He says I care too much and that he’s fine, but I know that’s not true. I know he’s not fine. Since knowing him for 10 years, I know his quirks, I know his tendencies, I KNOW him. And I know something’s not right.

 

 

 **Andy's POV**  
Inspirer, expirer. I’m supposed to meet Jack in an hour. I’m excited and kinda terrified, but she’s the one who said it was a date, so more excited.

**Jack's POV**

Why did I have to be the one who said it was a date? He was the one who brought up the entire thing. Even so, he did say it would only be a date if I wanted it to be, which I do, I do want it to be a date, so I had to say something! It’ll be fine. Andy’s a great person. It’ll be fine.

**Back to Andy**

I’m on the train, on my way to the rink, just trying to prepare myself. This is going to be great.  
I see Jack by the entrance to the park. “Hi Jack.”  
“Oh, hi. I didn’t see you. Are you ready? Looks like we both brought our own skates, so we don’t have to wait in that ridiculously long line, and we can just get right to it!”  
“Yeah, just have to put them on.” I’m making this awkward. She seemed so composed and sure of herself, and then I come and just fuck everything up. After we get our skates on, we walk to the entrance of the rink. “Alright! Let’s go!” she says.

**And back again to Jack**

We do one lap around, with me helping Andy. He’s a decent skater but I think it might be a case of he gets good, and then he loses all of the skill for the next time he goes, and has to learn all over again. He’s constantly stumbling and it’s so cute, he just kind of stumbles and almost falls, but manages to find his balance at the last second. “Do you want a hand?” I ask Andy.  
“Um, that would be nice.” He responds and holds my hand.  
“Okay, so basically, you just want to shift your weight side to side and, with the power of physics and shit, you glide.” I say as I teach him how to skate again. I think he’s blushing…

 

 **Andy's POV**  
_This is so great. Jack is so great. Does she feel the same way? I hope so._ Andy thinks, on a high from the awesomeness.

**Jack's POV**

_This is amazing. Andy is amazing. Does he feel the same way? I hope so._ Jack thinks, also really excited from the amazement.

**And to Andy**

Sadly, we both have to leave.  
“Bye, Jack. See you Monday?” I ask  
“You’ll see me Monday.”  
I take the same train back home after ice skating. It’s around 9 right now and I am am super happy. I have successfully scheduled another date. AND I ASKED HER OUT! AND SHE SAID YES. AND SHE HUGGED ME. YAY.

**John's POV(for a short amount of time)**

I can just sense that the date went well. Andy is radiating positivity, which is kinda new. HE IS EVEN HUMMING! I CAN’T EVEN RIGHT NOW. I have to tell Laf and Herc.

 **OHMIGOSH**  
turtle boi: omigod andy went ice skating with jack and he’s so into her, that it seems that someone must’ve given him amortentia

mulligay: the hp refs are just amazing but you need to give us details

turtle boi: he goes completely red when he’s around her and gets super nervous before he talks to her

frenchiest fry: this is just like you and alex when you were their age

turtle boi: shut up laffy taffy

_***turtle boi added HAMburger to the conversation*** _

HAMburger: What the hell is going on?

frenchiest fry: perfect alex w/ perfect grammar

HAMburger: What?

turtle boi: we’re telling them about anjack.

HAMburger: What?

turtle boi: andy and jack

HAMburger: Ohhhhh…

turtleboi: where r u

HAMburger: In the office.

turtle boi: well i <3 u

HAMburger: Thanks.

mulligay: srry to interrupt you two lovebirds but we came here for andy and jack

turtle boi: *rolls eyes* well andy hasnt been spending that much time in his room and is staying positive its crazy

frenchiest fry: im happy for him

mulligay: he deserves it


	7. Andy and Jack, sittin' in a tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Andy gives John the details for his and Jack's date, but then he finds out what John has been doing with that information...   
> Also more usernames:  
> andham - Andy  
> anD_PEGGY - Wouldn't it make sense that this is Peggy?  
> elizard - Eliza   
> notsnickers - Angelica

“So...How’d everything go with Jack?” John asked a little too eagerly. “Or, actually, I know it went well. So how awesome was it? And I’ll know no matter what!” 

“It was okay,” Andy said shortly. 

“You HAVE to tell me more!” John half- begged. 

“OKOK. So it all started when we were renting skates. 

‘So,’she said. We made some small talk and then I fell. We hadn’t held hands. Mine were ice cold.

‘So you need me to help you up?’ she asked me. I nodded and she placed her warm hands in mine.” Andy sighed. 

“That sounds nice,” John said as Alex entered. John quickly kissed Alex and Andy wondered if he would ever kiss Jack.

 

**Andy's POV**

I have gotten really close to Alex and John now and I have mastered the mind reading thing. I am going to the Christmas tree to meet Jack. We go to the Christmas market until our toes are about to fall off. Then, She grabs my hand and pulls me to a horse drawn carriage(WTF). 

“Where are we going?”

“My house,” I don’t answer but soon after being of the (LIT AF) carriage we are on the couch watching Home Alone. I snuggle my head in Jack’s chest and look up. She looks at me, and leans towards me brushing her lips against mine. I smile. So does she. It is nice. I wonder if this is how John and Alex feel but push them out of my mind as my lips touch hers once more. I snuggle against her.

**Jack's POV**

I take Andy to my house to watch a movie when his head touches my chest. I smile and swoop my arm around him. He looks at me, and feeling braver than I actually am, I kiss him and to my surprise he doesn’t look at me like I’m crazy. He just smiles and kisses me once again. 

 

“So, status update? I need ALL the details.” John asked AGAIN very enthusiastically. 

“Do you really? Who are you telling?” Andy responded, curious.

“Yes.”

“Is that so? You’re not spilling this to anybody?”

“Uh…”

“So you are?”

“Wh-why would you think that? Er..”

“You’re spilling all of this to Laf and Herc, aren’t you? And don’t lie because I already know the answer”

“Yeah… But they一”

“No excuses. I’m not giving you any more information about my love life.”

“But…”

 

**UGH!**

andham: is it true that john told you guys everything

andham: and pls dont lie 

andham: ive had enough of that today

mulligay: we’re sorry andy

frenchiest fry: we didnt know you didnt know

mulligay: he made it seem like...im not gonna give you any excuses

mulligay: we truly are sorry

andham: its fine i just wanted to know

 

tHe SchUYler SISterS

andham: i need advice

anD_PEGGY: are you sure you want it from us?

elizard: not from us, but angelica give decent advice. 

notsnickers: i do dont i

elizard: what do you need advice for anyway

andham: relationships and having john not snoop in my business. more specifically, having john not want to know every detail about my love life

notsnickers: i dont know, the john thing is pretty hopeless but why do you need relationship advice? is there someone we dont know about?

anD_PEGGY: angie’s right about john. but who is this person who you need advice for? we promise we wont be like john

andham: this girl named jacqueline but she goes by jack its all moving so fast and i dont even know if thisll all work out and im not okay

anD_PEGGY: im noooootttt oooookaaaaayyyy cause mcr

anD_PEGGY: you said you read me like a book but the pages are all torn and frayed….

elizard: PEGGY STAHP

andham: you guys aren’t giving me advice

andham: maybe i shouldntve come to you…

notsnickers: NO! okay so you said “its all moving so fast and i dont even know if thisll all work out and im not okay” so it seems like you cant handle life in general right now but its all gonna work out, you know why?

andham: why?

elizard: bc youve got all of us behind you! laf, herc, peggy, ang, me, and especially alex and john. 

anD_PEGGY: yeah! 

notsnickers: but like what do u mean by its all going 2 fast

andham: we sorta kinda bumped into each others lips…

anD_PEGGY: that’s one way to put it… 

elizard: YOU KISSED A GIRL… wait thats not 2 bad  how old r u?

andham: 16.. 17 in april

notsnickers: is this ur 1 kiss tho?

andham: yea…

anD_PEGGY: well then… 

notsnickers: number one (im a girl in which my…) i didnt expect that to be the number one thing ur stressing about and number 2 are u guys going to have another date,when was the kiss one

andham: the kiss one was thurs

anD_PEGGY: and… 

andham: i have a date 2night 

notsnickers: and do u think ur gonna kisssssssssss

andham: i don’t want to be too forward too soon

elizard: it sounds like you guys are perfect for each other

notsnickers: when are we gonna meet her?

anD_PEGGY: wait but rewind: how would kissing her again be too forward? 

andham: idk but i just dont want her to think… idk

notsnickers: dont be so reserved with your feelings like john was. obviously she likes you back so whats the holdup?

elizard: yeah! you should go for it

anD_PEGGY: where are you going for the date?

andham: some restaurant. she said it’s a surprise i just hope it’s not too fancy bc i would be so out of place

andham: sorry subject change(kind of not really): should i get my hair cut?

elizard: do you feel like you need to?

andham: i feel like it makes me look too feminine what do you guys think?

anD_PEGGY: i mean its almost shoulder length which is fine i mean long hair doesnt mean you are a girl i mean look at alex’s and john’s and laf’s i think its fine sooooooooo

notsnickers: i think that it could go for a cut

elizard: what nooooo its fine

andham: OKKKKK this isnt helping sooooooo im just go to John and Alex


	8. O noes...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Noooo but Andy and Jack!

**Andy's POV**

I look at the table. Dammit. Jack isn’t here today. I slip into a seat next to a girl with curly blonde pigtails. She seems very cheery and asks a LOT of questions.

“Are you dating?” “I got new shoes” “Do you like them?” GREAT. On top of that Ondine is arriving in three weeks. I make small talk with the girl: Amy. I am interested as she slowly drifts the conversation to bands, MCR specifically. We laugh and the next day I introduce her to Jack. It is Tuesday. We are like three peas in a pod. Until Three weeks later. I just got to school when Amy’s boyfriend walks up to me.

“Hello,” he says. His name is Connor. He leans in kinda close and cracks a joke. Then he sorta nods at everything I say and compliments me on how my eyes look beautiful with their brown circles with big black dots positioned at the perfect place. I cringe really hard. That’s really bad. I don’t think about it at all but then I realize that Connor likes me.

“Also, by any chance do you like me?” he says putting his hand around my waist.

“No, and please don’t touch me.” I say disgusted, “WAIT, don’t you like Amy?”

“Oh, her. I don’t care about Amy,” He spits her name out like it was poisonous. I fall back and run. Through the whole day thoughts race my mind. And during lunch I tell Jack to excuse us and I drag Amy out into the empty hall.

“Connor likes me. He hates you, He’s a perv, and you need to get away from him,” I whisper.

“WHAT? Don’t be crazy!” Amy exclaimed.

“HE PUT HIS FUCKING HAND ON MY WAIST! Obviously he doesn’t respect personal boundaries” I half shouted. Amy, no one, had seen me like this ever so she believed me and she started crying. I put my arms around her and whispered reassuringly. I held her hand. Then all I saw was Jack looking at me in shock.Her head stuck out of the cafeteria doors and tears forming in her eyes.

“Jack, it’s not what…” but she wasn’t listening.

“Its exactly what it looks like. You are cheating on me and I don’t go out with cheaters.” she said stiffly and left. I turned around but Amy had disappeared into the lunchroom.

 

**Jack's POV**

I go home and start crying. HOW COULD HE? Everything was going so well. We had kissed goodnight and he hugged me. He acted like he LOVED me. Like he wanted to be with me. And then this. He is hugging Amy and holding her hand. Sympathizing with her. Looking at her. In THAT way. That way that shows love and empathy. The way he looks at me, Alex and John.

**Back to Andy**

I got home to see a 11 year old girl. She has light brown wavy hair that is pulled up into a ponytail. Her skin is the color of chocolate. She is eating Frosted Cheerios as Alex and John introduce me to her, “Meet Ondine”

“Hi,” I say.

“Hello,” she answers smiling.

“Ondine was an orphan found on the streets of Ethiopia. We took her in,” Alex smiled as they turned back to Ondine and talked to her. I silently slip away, unnoticed.

The fact that I was unnoticed was heartbreaking. Has it already begun? Having Alex and John not even pay attention to me anymore because of Ondine? This whole event was really not what I needed as result of an already awful day. I just don’t know what I’m going to do, and I don’t want to ask John or Alex, because obviously they’re really busy and don’t need me interrupting with my pathetic life.

 

**tHe SchUYler SISterS**

andham: i need help again

notsnickers: what is it this time?

elizard: anything

anD_PEGGY: what they said

andham: i was comforting another girl bc i found out and told her that her boyfriend was not someone that she wanted to be with and that he was trying to hit on me and jack thought i was cheating on her and yeah. i need help

anD_PEGGY: and to think that only the other day you were asking how to continue with jack…

elizard: PEGGY! youre not helping

notsnickers: and neither are you! im sorry andy, i know you really liked jack

andham: but that’s not the point, i need help on how to tell her that it wasnt at all what she thought it was and how to get back together.

elizard: so you need our help? got it

anD_PEGGY: what if ang goes to this guy, whats his name?

andham: connor

anD_PEGGY: ok. so what if ang goes to connor and teaches him a lesson about shit and eliza and i go to jack to try and mend things.

notsnickers: thats actually a decent idea, what do you think andy?

andham: that’s not bad… but what would you teach him a lesson about?

notsnickers: youll see…

elizard: thats not a great sign, but it’s fine! we’ll help you mend things with jack

andham: thanks guys

 

**More mind reading**

_Oh no. It’s just like we feared. Andy is jealous of Ondine and the attention. Nooooooo…._

**Really? Oh no….**

_Yeah! This is not good. And not to mention, I think something was wrong even before that! I think it might’ve been something with Jack…._

**How do you know this?**

_I totally HAVEN’T been looking at his texts…._

**You can’t be serious. Are you serious?**

_I mean….uh…._

**You can’t just invade his personal life like that! How is he ever going to trust you now? He’s already not in great relations with you now, and you’re not making your case any better! Just-ugh-Can we not talk about this right now? I didn’t have the best of days either, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.**

 

**Just John (no mind reading here!)**

I knew it. I’m a horrible father. And to think that I used to be telling Alex that we would be great parents, and that he was the one fretting. This only initiates the terrible things that the monsters and demons inside my head start to say: _See? You’re useless, and you just get in the way. You just make things worse. Nobody really cares about you. They’re just waiting to get rid of you, or until you leave on your own._ Alex would tell me that these things aren’t true, but are they?

 

**Just Alex**

I wake up in the middle of the night to find John still awake. Not just awake, but sobbing. “John?” I cautiously ask. If what I think happened, every word could make a difference.

“Alexander?” he responds with the same cautious tone in his voice.

“Are you okay?”

He shrugs his shoulders in response.

“I mean, I think I know the answer to that question, so I want you to know that I love you, and that nothing would ever change that.” It pains me to see him this way. A relapse is definitely going to take a toll on him, and that may spark a chain reaction. “One day, when nothing ever feels the same, I’ll find a way, to wake you from this bed you made, even though I know you want me to, I’m never giving up on you. I love you, John.”

“I love you too, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to leave it off at "Jack, it's not what-" but then I decided that would be too cruel for the cliffhanger and because otherwise the chapter would be WAY too short, and they are already lacking in length.


	9. Lots Of Problems But A Lot Of Greatness To Cover It Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Hamilton-Laurens family travels, Alex gets some memories, New additions, and DINOSAURS

**Alex's POV**

The next morning I wake up to find a email in my inbox from the adoption agency. I click it. It says that they found one of Andy’s relatives. His mom’s cousin. Her sister contacted the agency. The funeral is next week if Andy wants to go. I sprint from the kitchen to John and I blurt out the words. Soon we are packing and apologizing to Ondine who just got here. I hear John swearing under his breath. And Andy, well he’s just being plain depressing. And the worst part is that Ondine is unfazed.

Once we get there I take in the smell of my home. I choke back tears. This family doesn't need more tears. As I say that, I really want to go back to my town. My mother. I tell John I’ll be back and run to my mother’s grave. I sit down and put some daisies. I silently sob when I see a figure come into view. John.

**John's POV**

I try to push the demons out of my head as I walk toward Alex. This is not the time for me, he’s having to re-cope with his mother’s death. “I hate it when you’re depressed,” he mutters. _I won’t be depressed then,_  I think.

“Yes you will,” he stares into my eyes.

“No I won’t,” John answers.

**Alex's POV**

“You’ll never know just how hard it is for me to see you this way. Not even wanting to continue with life anymore. Just wanting to end it all right there and then. Promise me you won’t. I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever cared about and I can’t handle losing anyone else I love either. And the kids. One on the way. A baby. Do you want them to grow up like this, with a broken family that can’t be put back together?” I continue as I break into tears. John put his arm around me and kisses me so softly I can barely feel it.

“I will never leave you,” he says as I bury my face into the crook of his neck. There we are. Sitting in front of my mother’s grave.

“FUCK! ANDY AND ONDINE ARE AT HOME!” John says and then we scramble to our hotel. When we get there Andy and Ondine are curled up together on the bed. Awwwwwwwww… they have finally bonded.

**Ondine's POV**

I like Andy. He is great. Kinda. I don’t know. I like him though. Not at first. But now, It’s okay. He told me. Everything. I want to meet Jack. He told me he was trans. I didn’t mind. He told me he had gotten top surgery. Interesting. I liked listening. I’m not the type to talk. Andy made it more interesting to stay on the sidelines. Eventually, I started feeling sleepy, and Andy’s stories made it a lot easier to fall asleep. This was way better than having no one to turn to as an orphan.

**John's POV**

This is adorable. Andy had definitely seemed apprehensive and slightly jealous at first, but now they seem to be bonding. I wonder what even happened. Whatever, I’ll ask both of them tomorrow. I ordered us a suite so me and Alex got our own room. I flopped on the bed and said,

“Do you really hate it when I’m a mess?” I sighed.

“Yes, John!” he said, the he lowered his voice, “I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I’m a mess too, but that doesn’t stop me. I don’t shut people out,” Alex got up and lied down on the bed with me. He knew I needed that. It’s really peaceful and quiet, so it’s easy to fall asleep. For him at least. _You don’t deserve someone like him._ These thoughts just run rampant in my head all night and I don’t get any sleep.

I wake up the next morning to see Alex wearing my “Kiss the Chef” apron and heating frozen sausages. I sit down as Alex says that Andy and Ondine are out for the day. I nod and Alex frowns, “HEY! YOU FORGOT TO KISS THE CHEF!” I flash a smile and stand up to kiss him. He smiles.

**Alex's POV**

“Much better, I figured you were too despondent to cook, but I’m a terrible culinarian.” I greet John, “Hence the warm-up sausage with the amazing artificial fumes,”

“Here, let me help you with that.” John says as he takes over in the cooking and starts making his goddamn crepes.

“Thanks. You’re an amazing chef, I glad you’re not as forlorn as I thought you were. For once, I’m actually delighted that someone proved me wrong.” I said, satisfied. As I pass the apron I hesitate and force him to kiss me. He does and I sit at the table.

“Are you sad? Looks like you didn’t get a lot of sleep last night. What’s wrong? Talk to me.” I ask John, I pretty much already know the answer to one of those questions, anyone could tell that he didn’t get any sleep: his eyes were really red, and he had dark under-eye circles.

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

“So what if I didn’t get much sleep last night?”

“I can tell it’s more than that.”

“I’m a terrible father, Alex. I’m useless. I just get in the way of everything. I’m a burden.” John finally confessed. “I don’t deserve to have such an amazing husband like you.” Seeing John this way and hearing him say these things almost brought tears to my eyes, but I wasn’t allowed to be the one crying, so I blinked them back and support John.

“John, you’re the best thing to ever happen to me. Not only that, but you’re an INCREDIBLE father, both Andy and Ondine think so. Sure, you may say some things, I may say some things, but in the end, you are the most amazing, fascinating, incredible, marvelous, stunning, wonderful person, and I don’t know where I would be without you. I love you, John Laurens.”

**John's POV**

Hearing Alex reassure me once again allowed me to just release a waterworks of tears and all my bottled-up emotions, and Alex was there the whole time. He’s the best thing to ever happen to me. Where would I be without him?

**Andy's POV**

Ondine and I are out for the day at the dinosaur museum. I am still really disconnected with John and Alex but Ondine is so great that she takes my mind off of them. And Jack. My life in just a miserable work in progress. But again, it’s in progress. Hopefully everything will get better eventually. Ondine and I bonded over dinosaurs, and that’s how I got past my brief phase of jealousy. My favorite dinosaur is the Argentinosaurus and hers is the Parasaurolophus. We both like herbivores, I guess. We should ask Alex and John what their favorite is. Alex’s is probably the thesaurus. Ha! Funny jokes… We spend the whole day at the museum, just fangirling over dead things…yeah. I mean that’s the only way to see them, because even though we think it’d be cool, devastation would reign if dinosaurs were still alive today. It’s about 5, and the museum had to close. We go home and I think Alex and John are in the same place as when we left…I wonder what happened…

**Alex's POV**

I let John vent all of his emotions, it went on for hours, but I wouldn’t’ve had it any other way. It provoked thoughts that said even though I do care about him, I don’t make it as known as I would’ve liked. I was completely and utterly blind to all of this going on, so maybe I do need to take a break. Andy and Ondine are back from the museum, and luckily, I think everything and everyone is better now and not so dejected. “What the hell happened here? We leave for 8 hours and everyone gets all morose…Don’t say it was nothing because I can tell it was something.” Andy asked, sounding mildly vexed.

“Uh…” I stalled, looking to John to see if he minded I tell the kids.

“Let’s go over there.” I lead them into the hall so I could ask them something without John hearing.

“John relapsed back to his depression, and I, he probably would too, appreciate it if you told him one last time how amazing he is. Please.” I look up to see Andy and Ondine, Andy looking like he has something imperative to say, while Ondine just looks like she’s just going along with it.

“John. You are the best person to happen to me. You and Alex got me out of that shithole orphanage when they were sick of me. You pulled me up from the bottom when I first moved in with you. When I had my anxiety attack. I may get aggravated with you sometimes, but that in no way affects my view of you. Just a little bonus, too, you are the best fucking chef I have ever known, especially with those crepes.”

**John's POV**

“Thanks, Andy,” I whisper. Ondine just smiles and it causes me to smile back.

“See? We all love you. The world may be ugly, but you’re beautiful to me.” Alex got me with the MCR reference, and it fills the void just that much. We went to Andy’s relative’s funeral and then packed our bags and went home. John was doing much better and I hoped he stayed that way. 

 

\-- -- --

**Andy's POV**

The next day at school, I sat down, embarrassed, as the Schuyler Sisters marched into the lunchroom. “I’m looking for a boy named Connor Basilton,” Angelica states to the whole school. I groan and hide my face under the table. No one budges. “Well, I would like Connor to meet me behind the school at 4:00 pm sharp,” she turns around and leaves leaving Eliza to hurry to Amy and Peggy to Jack. I gave them a relatively detailed description of what they look like.

**Eliza's POV**

I went to Amy and looked at her. “Hello,” I said.

“Hi?” she answered.

“I’m Andy’s… let's say… older cousin.”

“Ok and… “

“Well it’s about that day in the Lunchroom where Andy was comforting you,”

“Yes?”

“Well, Jack sort of thought that Andy was cheating on her… with you,”

“What?”

“Yea… “

“What do I do?”

“Don’t worry I got it covered, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” I smile.

“Okay…” she seems skeptical.

**Peggy's POV**

I walk over to Jack. “Hey,” I whisper.

“What?” she asks.

“I’m Andy’s… um… cousin,”

“Then I don’t want anything to do with you,”

“Andy wasn’t cheating on you I swear,”

“Really? How do you explain him excusing himself, then going and wrapping his arms around another girl?”

“You know Connor right?”

“Yes… “

“Connor is the real cheater. He said some despicable things about Amy, and tried to get with Andy. He doesn't respect anyone's boundaries, Connor.”

“But they were dating,”

“Exactly,” I watch as the pieces come together in Jack’s mind. “Andy told Amy. Amy was sad and Andy was comforting her,” 

“Oh,” her shoulders drooping as she says it.

“So,” I whisper, hugging her as tears spring to her eyes.

“So,” she chokes.

**Angelica's POV**

3:59. The clock ticks by until it clicks four. Connor shows up and clearly doesn’t understand whats going on. “I’m here and available,” he says flashing a grin and then he almost swings an arm around my shoulder when I grab his arm and twist it behind his back.

“Get away from me, you little perv.”

“What?”

“Don’t mess with Andy, Amy or Jack again… for that matter… don’t mess with anyone otherwise I’m going to _actually_ hurt you. Do you understand?”

“O-Okay,” he manages.

I release his arm and walk off saying, “By the way, I’m Angelica Schuyler. Andy’s cousin. Pleasure to meet you.”

**Andy's POV**

After Peggy kinda talked to Jack, I walked with her home to officially apologize to her so it didn’t look like I was trying to hide behind the good graces of others like a jerk. “Jack, wait.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. For everything. I’m not going to give you any excuses, I just wanted to apologize.”

“Peggy talked to me, I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions. I just- My trust has been compromised by other people before, so when I saw you with Amy… “ she trails off.

“I get it,” I say, thinking about how I told John about my love life and then he told Laf and Herc.

“Are we okay?” she asks,

“I’m okay,”

“I’m okay,”

“So we’re okay,”

“Okay,”

I slip my hand into hers and walk home with her. We get to her house and I whisper a goodbye.

“I’m really sorry,” she says again.

“No, I’m sorry. You didn’t do a single thing.” I say. I guess Jack has a complex history that I’ll need to learn. I walk home to see John at the table.

“Andy.”

“Yes?”

“I’ve been thinking and it was really wrong of me to spill all of your love life when you just opened up to me.” he says. And he means it. He is pleading for forgiveness. And I give it to him.

**Ondine's POV**

 I sit Andy down, “Andy,” I say.

“Yes?”

“I have a crush,”

“On who?”

“Melvin,”

“A boy?”

“Yes,”

“Okay,”

“I also had another question,”

“Go for it,”

“When did you get top surgery?”

“Alex and John funded me for it a month after I lived here,”

“Cool,”

“Thanks,”

“I love you,” the first time I said it to him.

**Andy's POV**

“I love you,” the first time I said it to her.

Late at night I start researching for college apps when John and Alex come in. “Look, I know it’s a lot but we have something to tell you,” They look at each other. “We are having a baby!”

“You are adopting a _baby_?`Doesn't that take years?” I ask.

“No, having a baby,” John says

“Surrogate?”

“Yep,” Alex replies

“With who?”

“Alex’s old friend,”

“Oh okay,”

**Ondine's POV**

“What is surrogate?” I ask, as I overhear the word while getting a snack.

“So basically they both donate sperm and they have a woman(either one they know or dont) carry the baby,” Andy says.

The next 9 months drag by. I like my school and Melvin still doesn’t even know my name. Finally, we are rushed to the ER and go and see our sibling be born.

**After the birth Andy and Ondine sit around John while he holds the baby girl. Alex is getting warm up food from the cafeteria.**

“We decided on Leo for a boy and Liliane for a girl, Lily for short, and since we waited to see if it was a boy or girl we can now officially call our child Liliane!”

**John's POV**

The baby is born without complications, thankfully, and I just love her. She has Alex’s eyes, and you can tell that she's our child.

**Andy's POV**

“Oh Lily…” I say. It has been about 2 months since she was born and so she looks at me and smiles, kicking her chubby legs. Alex calls me downstairs and I pick up Lily, stumble my way through the baby gate for the stairs and go into the kitchen. “Yes?” I say out of breath.

“How ‘bout you, Ondine, John and I go to a movie and ice cream while John stays with Lily?”

“Sure,” I answer while Ondine is nodding.

“I have some work anyway so it's fine by me.” John shrugged.

“Are you sure?” Alex says.

“Yeah, just bring me back a rainbow cone.”

“Got it.” I click away at my computer while bouncing Liliane in my lap. “So, Just you and me, Lily. What are we going to do?” I say to her getting a gurgle in response. “Are you hungry?” I ask knowing I’m not going to get a response, “It’s been a few hours since you ate,” I say and prepare a bottle for her. I burp her and then I get back to work finish work when Lily starts pulling my hair. “I know, I’m finished… we can play now,” I laugh while Lily spits up. I dab her with a paper towel . We play (Well, as close as you can get to ‘playing’ with a 2-month-old, they don’t really do much). Finally, Lily is tired. I laugh as I set her down in the bed instead of her crib and lay down next to her. “I love you,” I say. She is really sleepy so I pick her back up at place her in her crib, and she essentially falls asleep right as her head hits the mattress. Right at that moment, Alex comes back with the kids.

“Here’s your rainbow cone,” he shouts.

"Will you shut up? The baby's sleeping." I ask.

"Hey!" Alex says, pretending to take offense. Andy and Ondine just quietly walk away from the "argument", although it isn't really heated, or real, for that matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure John is having "Dear Theodosia" type feels with Lily.
> 
> Please remember to comment, since feedback, suggestions, and constructive criticism are very much appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10

**Andy's POV**

I wake up with a grumble as my alarm goes off with the sun peeking through the crevice of the curtains. _What day is it?_ I think to myself. _Friday. Fridays aren’t so bad._ I turn over, trying to find my phone so I can turn off my alarm. _7 April. Oh, birthday Friday. Let’s see what this day brings._ I rub my eyes, trying to get myself out of this sleep-induced haze. I get ready for the day and walk downstairs. I’m greeted by Ondine, Alex, John, and even baby Lily. They all say at the same time, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDY!” except for Lily, of course.

“Thanks, guys. That means a lot.”

“Everybody else is coming over and we’re gonna have food and cake.” Alex informs.

“Angelica, Eliza, Peggy, Maria, Herc, and Laf.” John adds.

“Cool,” I look at the time to see 8:00. “I have to go, bye.” I go to school and are greeted by Jack hugging me and then kissing me and Amy hugging me. Her white-blonde hair is pulled into two pigtails. We laugh and Jack surprises me with a piece of cake with blue frosting. She shoves it in my face as Amy laughs. I smear some on her cheek as payback. It is a great day.

**John's POV**

I had an off day today so I was preparing for Andy’s birthday party. We were ordering pizza, because what else would you want on your birthday? Even though the pizza was being delivered, I was making the cake, since Andy said I was the “best fucking chef he’s ever known”. Thanks, Andy. Everybody else was coming over around noon so we could have time before Andy got home from school. The cake was successfully in the oven when they arrived. I said that Herc and Laf were going to go get the pizza, Angelica is helping me decorate the cake, and Eliza, Maria, and Peggy were helping to tie up any loose ends, including assisting with Lily.

At around 3:00, Alex and Ondine are home, except for Andy, of course, and everyone was kind of scrambling to get any final touches for the party. 3:15. We hear the lock on the door click, and in comes Andy. “Happy Birthday!” You see his eyes darting from detail to detail. “You guys didn’t need to do this. I’m not worth that.”

“Um, we SO needed to do this. You are amazing and we needed to make this day special for you. You only get one 17th birthday, after all.” Alex said. Every else agreed, because it was the truth. This was my return for his reassurement back when I had my relapse.

**Andy's POV**

My party was amazing. I still feel bad for all the work that went into it, because they seriously didn’t have to do that, I was satisfied with the “Happy Birthday!” One of the best parts though, was that…LILY LAUGHED. Yep, she had her first laugh, and it was some of the cutest fuckin’ shit I have ever seen. Afterwards, she proceeded to make a mess all over her face and hands with the cake and ice cream, which was also ADORABLE. Everyone left once night began to crawl. _Hm._ I thought. _Eliza left her jacket._ I have no idea how she did that though, it is FREEZING. I think that’s just me, since I get cold if it’s below 65°F. But anyway, I guess I’ll just bring it to her after school on Monday, because I think she’s going upstate for the weekend with Maria.

 

Monday 

“I need to give Eliza her coat after school today, so I might be late home,” Andy said.

“OK cool,” John replied not looking up from his crepes.

 

**Eliza's POV**

I look out the window when Thomas Conway says hi to me.

“What do you want?” I mutter.

“How do you feel about getting drinks on Friday with me?” he asks, trying to sound enticing.

“No. For the last time, I’m not going home with you..” Just then Maria walks through the door, “One coffee, for my favorite girl!”

“Thanks!” I say.

“I have to go…new design for some adverts!” I kiss her goodbye.

“Wait―GIRLfriend?”

“Yes. She is a female human. And I am dating her. Do you have a problem with that?”

He doesn’t answer and just slides me some sort of card.

**Sexual Orientation Change Efforts (SOCE)**

I stop after reading that and roll my eyes, tear up the card, escort Thomas to his office―anywhere as long as it’s away from me, blink back tears and go into my office with the door shut. I sink to the ground and start to cry when there is a knock on the door.

“Who is it?” I say as I stand up go to my desk and sit down at it. I smooth out my hair and wipe my tears.

“Andy,” Andy says.

“Oh, come in,” I reply.

**Andy's POV**

“What’s wrong?” I immediately ask.

“Nothing, nothing,” she says.

“I know it’s not nothing,” I go to her desk and hold her hand, “Even older cousins need help sometimes,”

She sniffles out, “Thomas tried to get me to go home with him and I told him I was gay and he saw me kiss Maria and he tried to give me this,” she slips pieces of a ripped up card into my hands and buries her face into her knees which are now curled up on the chair. I manage to get the pieces together.

**Sexual Orientation Change Efforts (SOCE)**

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” I gasp. This is horrible.

 

**squad goals**

anD_PEGGY: HALLO… ohmygosh  whats wrong

andham: how do u know smthns wrong

anD_PEGGY: idk i just do

andham: anyways... thomas conway (u know the dude from liz’s work) was rlly homophobic to her today it happened at her office today i went to drop of her jacket and she told me and she was crying

turtle boi: o shit

notsnickers: im gonna kick his ass

andham: saying this probs isnt the best idea to fan the flames of ang’s anger but im 99.97% sure that thomas has invited eliza over more than once…

notsnickers: im gonna kick his ass harder

anD_PEGGY: that wasn’t a good idea...wait does maria know

mulligay: no it was not uh oh…idk

elizard: wtf did you guys say to ang

turtle boi: scroll up

elizard: o shit…

turtle boi: great minds think alike

elizard: also andy he has invited me to stay over more than once...peggy pls dont tell maria

anD_PEGGY: she needs to know sry liz

_anD_PEGGY has added sayyestothis to squad goals_

sayyestothis: wtf is going on

turtle boi: scroll up

sayyestothis: omg why didnt u tell me lizzy

elizard: i didnt want you to worry

sayyestothis: lizzy…

elizard: sry

sayyestothis: well talk about this tonight

elizard: ok

notsnickers: im gonna kick this dude’s ass... he deserves it no one fucks with my sister

mulligay: we shall see how this plays out

 

**Angelica's POV**

“What did you say about my sister?” I say to Thomas. I’m trying my hardest to stay calm.

“I was just helping her out.. She’s not going to get anywhere in the world if they find out about Maria.” Thomas replies.

That is the last straw. This gives me an excuse to punch him. Hard. It leaves a mark.

“Don’t mess with any of my sisters, friends, or anyone for that matter, again. It’s no wonder no one wants to go home with you.” I whisper in a deadly tone.

 

**squad goals**

_turtle boi added HAMburger to squad goals_

elizard: ang what did you do

notsnickers: i only punched him and made a comment on how no one wants to sleep with him trust me he got off easy

turtle boi: he did wow im shocked you didnt do more

HAMburger: Wait, why did Angelica punch someone? Who did she punch?

andham: thomas conway he was being an assface to eliza about maria…scroll up for more

HAMburger: Ah, yes, using my term, I’m glad it’s begun to spread.

turtle boi: ok it may have become your thing but stop being that guy who uses proper grammar in texts its weird

HAMburger: No.

turtle boi: i tried

anD_PEGGY: and we’ll all dance alone to the tune of your death we’ll love again we’ll laugh again and its better off this way so much better off this way i cant clean the blood off the sheets in my bed!

turtle boi: this has just become a gathering place for all the killjoys.

anD_PEGGY: and never again, and never again they gave us two shots to the back of the head and we’re all dead now…

elizard: peggy

anD_PEGGY: ok ill stop

elizard: thank you

 

**Eliza's POV**

I walk towards the couch and Maria is there waiting for me.

“Do you want to talk about today?” she asks.

“Sure,” I shrug, I don’t want to but I’m sure she does so I say yes.

“Tell me about Thomas. Just vent out your emotions..”

“OK,” I breathe. “So Thomas is this dude at work and he keeps trying to invite me to get drinks with him, but I know his real intentions. I always say no. Then today you came in with my coffee and when you had to leave, I kissed you goodbye, he saw and he slipped me this,” I go to my coat pocket and pull out the card It is in three pieces and smudged from tears but Maria manages to read it. She gasps as she reads:

**Sexual Orientation Change Efforts (SOCE)**

“That is horrible, Angelica did the right thing.” she gasps and I nod into her chest as I burst into tears.

“Shhh…it’s alright?, I’m going to contact your boss,"

Fortunately my boss responded quickly and she was bi so she quickly moved Thomas to a different field.

“Now, are you okay?” Maria asked.

“I guess…is it bad that we are a couple?” I weakly ask. I have been thinking about it all day.

“No!” she lifted my chin so I was looking at her. “Don’t get those thoughts into your head, we are perfect,” I nod at her.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m a horrible person” I said.

“No your not horrible, you are just reacting to your surroundings,” she reassures.

“Okay,”

“That’s right, everything is okay,” she whispers. For the first time in awhile I feel safe, and in the even up and down of Maria’s breathing, I fall into a peaceful sleep.

 

**Andy's POV**

The next day I wake up, still exhausted. I mean, I didn’t get that much sleep last night since I had a nightmare about some of my other placements. It included a lot of…unpleasant memories. I’m just hoping Alex or John don’t ask about it.

“Hey, Andy. What’s wrong? You look like you didn’t get a lot of sleep.” John asks, concern in his voice.

Great. Can he read my mind or some shit? Exactly what I hoped wouldn’t happen.

“Oh, yeah. I’m fine.” I responded, attempting to seem nonchalant about the whole situation.

“Mm. Ok.” He replied, skepticism joining the concern in his voice.

It is Saturday so I go to my room and lay on my bed. It is dark blue and my room has naval ships painted on the walls. Naval Ships are my unusual obsession. Usually, looking at them and pretending that they are battling calms me down but today I am still not calm. I can’t stop thinking of the dream. One specific placement. Number 8. I remember the dream all to clearly.

**Flashback**

_I am in the garden shed. It is the second month here and I am hiding from Coral._

_“Come on, Andrea! Lets play together!” she says in a bubbly tone._

_“What does that mean? Pull my hair? Make fun of me because I’m trans?” I mutter. A few weeks ago I started to trust Coral, and I told her that I was trans._

_“Ew…that is so weird,” she stuck out her tongue, “You want to be a BOY!” She teased me ever since. She refused to understand LGBT issues and stuff because she was ten and brought up in an extremely sheltered place but it was still hurtful. I remember her laughing as I screamed from pain as she dug her nails into me. That day she found my hiding spot. She burst through the shed door._

_“Why are you hiding from me?” she asked. I sunk into the corner._

_“I can see you, idiot!” she said as she tugged my arm and brought me out of the shed._

_“MOM!” she screeched. Mrs. Stephens came rushing._

_“Yes sweetie?” she asked breathlessly._

_“Andrea won’t play with me! She was hiding in the shed when I found her,” she started to fake wail._

_“Aww, sweetie. Your daddy will play with you! And Andrea, seen as she loves the shed so much will spend the night there,” she said and Coral sniffled and left. I was thrown in the shed. It was seven pm._

_“You can have no meals for tomorrow.” she left slamming the door shut leaving a couple of spiders to fall on my head. I cried myself to sleep that night._

_The next morning I found out that Mrs. Stephens had called CPS, and that I wouldn’t be staying with them anymore. I was just another kid in the system, once again. I was back with Mrs. Washington, and I could tell she was tired of me. Little did she know, there were going to be 6 more._

**End Flashback**

 

**Jack Devries <3  **

andham: can i come over tonight?

PANcakes: sure whats up?

andham: ill explain when I arrive

PANcakes: ok then…

andham: sry to bother to you at 10 pm i just needed someone to talk to

PANcakes: its fine

 

“Hey, I’m going over to Jack’s if that alright?” I ask John and Alex, trying to seem as casual as possible as to not give off the implication that something’s wrong.

“Uh, sure, that’s fine. Just remember if anything’s wrong you can feel free to tell us. But be back by midnight” Alex replied. Goddamn. I swear, I can never hide anything from them.

“When am I gonna meet Jack?” Ondine asked in a sort of pleading manner.

“Soon.” She just folded her arms looking cross.

“Right now, you should get some sleep,” John smiled steering a whining Ondine out of the room.

 

**Jack's POV**

There’s a knock at the door. _Must be Andy,_ I think. I open the door and there he is, he looks exhausted though.

“What’d you do, walk here?” I ask in a joking manner.

“Yes.” He responds. Then I realize he’s not joking.

“What? I only live 3 and some miles away.” he says,

“Yeah, that’s still, 3 and some miles. You’re ridiculous. Anyway, what’d you want to talk about?” I ask leading him up to my room, and invite him to sit on the bed with me.

**Andy's POV**

“I needed someone to talk about―well―everything. Is that okay?” She nods and I continue to tell her about my nightmares, my other placements, and my anxiety attacks. 

“Sorry if that was a lot.” I apologize quickly.

“I’m just feel bad that I didn’t know before.”

_See? You made her feel bad. You should’ve never came over._

“Is something wrong? You look distressed.” Jack asks, worry threading the question.

 _You_ _caused her to fret. You’re just a mess, a wreck._

“Um, no, I’m fine. Just…” I try to think of an excuse but she just gives me a look of disbelief.

“You’re not fooling me. What’s going on inside that head of yours?”

“Uh, where’s your bathroom?” She points me in the direction, I shut the door and pull out my phone.

 

**squad goals**

andham: im at jacks house hlep hlep and im a little nervous but i cant show it actually im a lot nervous i might have an attack dating is scary who ever thought it was a good idea?

turtle boi: breathe andy breathe also i agree dating is frightening but just act calm

andham: i also may or may not have told her EVERYTHING

mulligay: what exactly is included in EVERYTHING

andham: things

HAMburger: That’s not helpful.

andham: yknow it doesnt even matter bc shes gonna get suspicious im hiding in her bathroom so im leaving wish me luck

 

“Sorry about that, I’m just anxious.” I tried (and failed) to reassure Jack that everything is okay.

“What do you have to be anxious about?” She asked, leaning in closer as she did so.

“Everything! This year! The world! My problems! Every problem!” That’s when it happens: My heart is palpitating, I feel like I’m choking, and it seems I don’t have any control over anything.

“Andy, are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…I’m ummm…fine, yeah, I’m good!” I try to sound happy and I think I do a pretty good job. Jack doesn’t think so.

_She’s going to see right through you. She’s going to hate you. You can’t do this._

She grabs my arm and makes me make eye contact for her. I flinch thinking she will say something mean when in a very gentle tone all she says is, “Andy, what’s wrong?”

_Incapable. Powerless. Weak. Helpless._

“Hey, Andy. Focus on my voice. I want you to take some deep breaths, okay?” she soothes and I unmethodically nod my head, trying to calm down.

“Okay, Inhale, one, two, three, four. Exhale, one, two, three, four,” We repeat this five times and I do as she tells and take deep breaths. The first couple breaths are not smooth but they even out later.

“Now, do you want to tell me?” she asks. I like how she isn’t forcing me to tell her. I nod.

“Uh, so I don’t really know why I had an attack here, that kind of came out of nowhere, but the root of my anxiety came from when my mother died, and my other placements. I haven’t told that many people because I didn’t want anybody’s pity. It’s in the past. But like you said, anxiety isn’t something you can get rid of. It’s pretty much stuck with me. My heart kinda throbs and l like feel like I can’t breathe or control myself, if that makes any sense,” I say. Jack just gives me a hug.

“I know you don’t want pity Andy, but I am truly sorry, But just know that I’m here for you. And I always will.” I sense sadness in her voice as if she has also gone through something bad.

“Jack, is there something wrong?” I ask. She pulls away and tears gloss her eyes.

“Jack?” I weakly ask. She smiles through her tears.

“Yes, Andy?”

“Are you okay,” I ask.

“Yes,”

**Third Person(just to change things up a bit)**

Jack held Andy’s hand.

“Do you want the truth?” she asked. Andy nodded.

“You know how you’ve never met my parents and every time you come over, before you even ask I give you an excuse why they’re not here?” she asked. Now tears were streaming down her cheeks. Andy nodded.

“Well, that’s because I’ve been here for a year with my cousin. She is 20 and balances college and taking care of me. And that is because my parents dropped me off to visit my cousin here and then never talked to me since. I’m from Chicago,” she took a uneven breath.

“I still remember the last thing I said to my parents,”

“What?” Andy asked so softly he thought Jack wouldn’t hear. But she did.

“ ‘Mom, you’ll text every week, right?’ she nodded and kissed my forehead.

‘For two years,’

‘Dad, you too right?’ he only grunted in response. I was crying.

‘I love you guys!’ I cried as I gave them a hug.

‘I love you too,’ my mom whispered. My dad grunted. I never heard from them again. After a while, the court terminated parental rights. After the first month, I couldn’t leave my room. I was so angry at them. I wrote them notes. One said that they were liars. Another that they shouldn’t have even had me if they were going to neglect me. I only went downstairs to eat. One day I was eating breakfast and Abby, my cousin, yelled at me. She yelled. I have never heard her yell except for that time in all my life. She told me that I had to get myself together, so I started to ride my bike. Every day. I rode my bike. It helped. I love it. The wind blowing in your face. I started to push my parents out of my mind. I started to smile more. It was okay in the end, I only one person knows other that you and Abby. I’m sorry if that was too much,”

**Andy's POV**

“No, no it is okay,” I say thinking. I glance at my watch. It is 11:30. I shoot Alex and John a text.

**me dads**

andham: can i pls stay over at jack’s

turtle boi: ok….

HAMburger: Um, sure, I guess. Why? Actually, I’m not going to ask.

andham: thx :)

 

“I can stay over, I’m assuming that’s fine with Abby?”

“Yeah,” Jack sniffles.

“So, tell me about this biking?” I say changing the subject.

“I’ve gone to a few races, I mostly do mountains,” she shrugs.

“You have to invite me to the next one,” I poke her stomach and she giggles. (Giggles, I know right? So NOT Jack).

“Are you ticklish?” I tease.

“No!” she denies.

“Uh huh,” I say and tickles her. She’s in a laughing fit when Abby barges into her room.

“Hi, um, I’m Andy,” Abby goes red and retreats as Jack and I collapse of the bed laughing.

Soon Jack is asleep. I slip an arm around her waist, hugging her. She is awake turns around and smiles at me, kissing my nose. I smile and we both turn our heads to sleep. When I wake up she's spooning me. I carefully remove her arm and step out of bed. I attempt to  when Jack wakes up.

“Hey,” she says groggily.

“Hello,” I smile.

“Listen, I hope yesterday doesn’t change anything between us,”

“No!” The thought never even crossed my mind.

“Good, anyways, what do you want for breakfast? Toaster waffles?”

“Sure,” I grinned. We eat and I wave Jack goodbye as I catch the bus home. Once I get there I pull out my phone.

 

**peg board :)**

andham: hey

anD_PEGGY: wassup

andham: idk i needed to talk to u

anD_PEGGY: whats wrong omigosh u have a secret and ur thinking about it

andham: how do u know

anD_PEGGY: idk anyways can u tell me or not but im guessing its about jack

andham: pffff no

anD_PEGGY: about her past?

andham: no...ok maybe but i dont want to spill that it sounded private

anD_PEGGY: o is about her parents and stuff, yea i know

andham: *opens mouth closes mouth opens mouth closes mouth* h-how?

anD_PEGGY: she told me when we were talking about amy and connor and stuff

andham: i need to talk to jack bye

anD_PEGGY: love u

 

**Jack Devries <3 **

andham: y didnt u tell me about peg

PANcakes: how do u know y did u tell her i was obvious its not something to share

andham: i swear she like read my mind

PANcakes: idk y i told her ok she just can get things out of me and tbh it feels like a weight off of my shoulders

andham: but y didnt u tell me

PANcakes: i didnt want u to feel bad

andham: i wouldntve

PANcakes: i know sry

andham: its fine gtg tho

PANcakes: ok bye

 

**Jack's POV**

Oh no. Andy is going to be so mad. Couples don’t keep secrets. He left so soon. Does he even like me still? My head is buzzing with questions. I text Peggy.

 

**daisy**

PANcakes: does andy like me still

anD_PEGGY: of course

PANcakes: ok bye thx

 

**Peggy's POV**

I set down my phone. “Thanks happy Peg!” “You’re the best!” “My go to helper!” I know they mean well but don’t they see that I am more than just a happy person. Yes, I would say I’m mostly happy but they don’t see my sadness or anger. I hide it from them., I bottle it up. I don’t want to disappoint them, I don’t want them to see that I’m not always sunshine. That sometimes what they say hurts my feelings. I laugh it off. I’m alright. When I act weird to make them laugh. “You have problems” “You're not okay” I know they’re joking but still. Sometimes I want to tell them but I always don’t. Sometimes I imagine writing letters to them about it. I say I’ll give it to them but I never do. I continue being that happy person and I like being that happy person. It’s just that I want them to realize that there is more to me than happiness.

 

The next day I wake up and be the happy person. It’s been years and today I don’t know what happens. I just burst.

“I feel disconnected to Andy,” Alex whispers since we’re all in the same room.

“He loves you, okay. Trust me. You and John are the best parents, Andy loves you. Without you, I wouldn’t be whole, Eliza wouldn’t be whole, Angelica, Ondine, John, Andy and even baby Lily,”

“Thanks, You are all positivity!” Alex says as he stands. I know he feels better. But I kill his mood and stand up to face all of them in the big living room. Jack, Andy, Ondine, Eliza, Angelica, Baby Lily, John and Alex are all in the room when I calmly say, “Don’t you see that there is more to me than happiness and rainbows? That I am a person with emotions and I can feel more than one. I try, I try so hard to make you laugh with me being weird but sometimes I get ‘You have problems’ or ‘You are not okay,’ I know you don’t mean it but it hurts me. I am always the best friend. Never my own person. I love it when you turn to me for help. I do. But remember, who do I go to for help, who is that happy face I turn to? I just want you to realize I’m not only this ball of sunshine. I am so much more,” I am staring at my shoes. Tears are springing to my eyes. Then I realize what I’ve done, I hold my tears back and say, “I’m so sorry! Um, this is not how I feel. Oh look someone’s calling me,” I laugh nervously and stumble out the door.

**Alex's POV**

I stare at the door that Peggy just left.

“This is all my fault. I was the one who said that she was all positivity.” I say as I breakdown into pieces.

“No, Alex, it’s not your fault. She’s obviously been feeling this way for a while, and I’m not saying that makes it better, but I don’t want you beating yourself up over it.” John was quick to swoop in and save me but I still feel awful.

“It doesn’t matter why she’s mad. The point is that it is all of us that made her mad and now all that matters is getting her to not be mad anymore,” Ondine points out and we all nod.

 

**squad goals**

_andham added PANcakes to squad goals_

andham: peg, we’re sry u can come to anyone of us when ur sad ok? we wont only rely on u and from now on well recognize u arent only happy

PANcakes: yea

HAMburger: We’re sorry...If we had known…

turtle boi: yes

andham: and ondine too if she had a phone she would tell u

mulligay: i second that

the frenchiest fry: third

elizard: fourth

notsnickers: five

anD_PEGGY: thx guys im sorry for the outburst

andham: dont worry about it


	11. Chapter 11

**Andy's POV**

The year is pretty good. I get it cleared that I’m not mad at Jack. And the next year is great. I get accepted into a college in state but Jack has to go to a different college in New York like me. On graduation I say goodbye to Jack. I pull her into a corner so it’s just us.

I’m trying to act normal when we both know nothing is normal.

She hugs me. “Bye,”

“Bye,”

“You’ll text every day?”

“Of course,”

“Tell me who you’re dating, I need to approve,”

I manage a laugh, “Okay,” I say even though I’m sure I’ll never find anyone as good as Jack.

“I guess this is goodbye,” Tears gloss her eyes and I feel one roll down my cheek. I slowly kiss her and then give her a hug.

 

My roommate introduces himself as Steve. He is very persuasive and gets my life details out of me. We get to know each other and I tell him about my past and stuff. He promises not to tell anyone. I really like him until of course this happens. Jack got there already so I start texting Jack that I arrived when the nosy creep looks over my shoulder.

“PANcakes? You’re queer?”

“That’s my…” I am about to say girlfriend but she isn’t anymore, “friend, um but yes I am queer and trans,” I say. He blinks.

“That is so unnatural. You’re gross, I can’t believe I have to sleep in the same room as you,” Steve whips out his phone. I get a message. It is sent to the students’ private posting page.

Meet the new kid! SHE is trans and thinks she is a boy! That is crazy. She’s gay...ahahaha that is a joke. I just got here and my brother went here so I know that “gays” are not allowed here. Everyone give it up for “andham” the girl searching for pity. Her mommy died and her daddy left. She came here for a “new life” and her foster placements were nightmares. As if this is true. She is searching for pity. Don’t trust Andrea Hamilton. She goes by Andy. DON’T TRUST HER!

 

I stare at the phone. I don’t say anything. The comments are blowing up with homophobic and transphobic slurs. I deal with this for the first month until the end Alex calls just to say hello. I pick up the phone.

In the background I hear, “Is it your weird gay parents?”

“Andy, what’s going on?”

“N-nothing,” I manage,

“Is someone being homophobic?”

“No, everything’s fine.” I say but Alex sees right through me.

“I’m coming,” I groan but the next day Alex is here. I had reapplied once I didn’t get in, but now I see that I need it. I wouldn’t have been able to survive another day at this school, almost literally, since my mental health isn’t in the best condition, as of now.

 

“Jack!” I yell as I drop my stuff to see her there. She got more freckles. 14 now. Her hair is in a bun and I notice that her hazel eyes are more green. I smile and greet her with kiss. Then I stop, “Sorry,”

“It’s okay, just don’t let my boyfriend see,”

“What?” I am disappointed, I  was hoping to continue our relationship. She sees my look and laughs, “I’m only joking!”

I gather my bags off of the ground and we laugh.

“We get to room together!” she laughs.

“Great!” I smile as I dump my things in our room. There are two full beds in our room and it is very cozy. It’s a one room double so we’re the only ones sharing the room. The next month is great. Jack and I befriend a kid named Evan. Evan goes by they/them and we met them in the LGBTQ+ lounge. I hang out there when I get a free period.

 

**Alex's POV**

Lily is two now and we are eating breakfast. Ondine is sleeping since it is Saturday. I hand Liliane her sippy cup and she doesn’t drink a drop.

“That is weird,” I say and John nods.

“Maybe she’s in a bad mood,” I reason. But then at lunch she started wheezing, Ondine was on the computer in her room so I told John, “I’m going to get her checked out,” John nodded wearing a worried expression. In the car Lily asked, “Where we going?”

“To the doctor, but it’s just a checkup!” I said, trying to keep an optimistic attitude. But in reality I was terrified. What if she’s not okay? What if, whatever it is, develops into something really bad? What if she dies?  

We get to the doctor’s office, and after waiting (for what seems like an eternity) for the doctor, we finally get seen.

“Hello, Mr. Hamilton. I'm Dr. Edmonds. What brings you and Lily in today?”

“Well, you see, Lily refused to drink or eat and we thought she was in a bad mood but it happened again at the next meal, and then later she started wheezing so we decided to bring her in, just in case something was wrong,”

“Well you made the right choice, Mr. Hamilton, well let’s go check her out,” she said and I picked up Lily and followed her to the examination room.

“You must be Lily,” she happily said.

“Yes,” Lily answered, “Lily Evans Hamilton-Laurens,” She said her full name and was happy to boast about it.

“Has anything abnormal been happening?” she asked me. I listed off the symptoms and the doctor nodded.

“I’m pretty sure she has Respiratory Syncytial Virus or RSV but it should go away soon. Contact me if she keeps refusing to eat or drink, has a fever or still has difficulty breathing.”

We did what the doctor told us to which was propping Lily’s head up so it was easier for her to breathe and sleep. It was supposed to go away on its own. It didn’t. She would have intense coughing fits, which would trigger breathing difficulties. She didn’t feel like eating, either, and she had a high fever. We contacted Dr. Edmonds and she told us to go to the Emergency Room. John came along, obviously, and we drove to the hospital.

 

 

**Jack's POV**

Andy’s hands are shaking when he hangs up.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Liliane is sick,”

“A cold?”

I’m praying that it is just a cold.

 

**Andy's POV**

“Does Ondine know?”

John shakes his head, “Now, we’ll tell her,”

“She’s checked in the ER now,” Alex adds as we head to Ondine’s room and knock.

“Come in,” she sounds really happy.

 

**Ondine's POV**

“Lily is in the ER. She had Respiratory Syncytial Virus and it developed into a really severe case of Bronchiolitis.” Alex gives me the news

“Is Lily gonna die? I don’t want her to die. Why did she get sick?” I have a worried tone.

“Lily won’t die. She’s just going to be in the hospital for a little bit. We don’t know why she got sick, the virus just must be going around.” John answers my questions instead because Alex looks like he’s on the edge of tears.

 

**John's POV**

We’re huddled around the hospital bed, but Lily is sleeping. Ondine is going to the bathroom when Dr. Edmonds walks in.

“I’m sorry, but this is rare and a severe case and she will most likely not make it, we are doing everything we can,” she informs us. I nod. So does Alex. Followed by Andy. There are looks of concern on our face when Ondine walks in. She reads us.

“She’s going to die, isn’t she?” she asks shakily .

“Most likely,” I choke out before breaking down. She slowly backs away, turns around and breaks into a run. Andy goes after her.

 

**Andy's POV**

I find her in the waiting room. She isn't crying. Her face is buried in her knees. She doesn’t notice me sit next to her until I put a hand on her back.

 

**Ondine's POV**

I look up.

“So, that’s it, she is going to die?” I sob.

“She might die, we can’t run away from reality, but there are so many reasons why she can live. Number one, she didn’t have an underlying condition. If Lily would’ve had a weak heart or lungs, or been immunocompromised, her chances would be beyond scary. Number two, she was in tip-top shape before this, so her natural defences can fight this off and Number three, she is a Hamilton-Laurens and we fight against all odds. This illness won’t take her down. If Lily dies, she’ll still be in your heart” he says. I nod but am not reassured fully.

“So,” he says changing the subject, “How is Melvin?” He remembers.

“He knows my name and there are rumors that he likes me,”

“THAT’S GREAT!”

“Yeah, I guess,”

 

Even though Lily isn’t better, John says I still have to go to school. Melvin is in the way of the colored pencils so I say, “Melvin,” he can’t hear because of his dumb headphones. So I stand on my tippy toes and take them off, I tap his shoulder and loudly say, “MELVIN,” He turns around,

“Yes, Ondine?”

“Um, could I, um, borrow some colored pencils,” I manage.

“Sure,” he smiles, “You know, I’d really like to have you over, you know, as a friend,” he says. I nod smiling.

“Let me just check with Alex and John,”

 

“PLEASE!” I beg and they nod.

John looks apprehensive

 

**John's POV**

I don't know who he is, but I know don’t like him. Alex looks ready to agree, but he looks over at me and drags me into the other room.

"What's with the face?"

"Melvin. I already don't like him."

"Do you trust Ondine?" Now he's trying to guilt me.

"I’m not about to let my little girl go to someone I don’t know’s house" Alex just kind of glares at me and goes back to Ondine. "You can go. Just use your judgement."

 

**Ondine's POV**

John still looks angered, but Alex said I could go, so I'm taking to opportunity before he changes his mind. Soon the details are worked out and I’m at Melvin’s house. It is really big, with 4 or 5 floors, he led me to his room, which is about the size of our house.  

He lets me sit down on the huge plush beanbag and he sits on another one across from me. He hands me a hot chocolate. I like him because he has many friends, he is popular and he always smiles. He scooches closer to me and smiles that amazing smile and leans closer to me. His breath smells of chocolate and peppermint. Then he leans in so close our lips are almost touching. The I realize he is about to kiss me I look down and he is kissing air. Then he stops.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m just not ready,” That’s okay. He smiles. But I can tell that it is fake. His face is reading: We’re thirteen. Grow up. Kissing is fine. How could I have ever liked you anyway? But that is just my guess. I glance at the time. 5:30. John will want me home in half an hour, so I decide to tell Melvin that I will see him tomorrow and leave.

 

**Third Person**

Ondine sat on the bench admiring Melvin as he played football in the field. He looked so focused on the ball, strategically planning every move so that he would get the glory. His golden hair would sweep over his face every time he ran. She was so happy. A ball was thrown into a rocky sea of people and whoever caught the ball got to throw it next. She didn’t really understand the concept of the game, but Melvin enjoyed it, so she was willing to work with it.

Melvin had shifted out of her sight, so she moved to a new spot so she could better admire him. She concentrated on the grass of the field, occasionally glancing up at Melvin to make sure that she knew when she was in the best spot possible. But she mostly focused on the ground and the steps ahead to make sure she didn’t trip and make a fool of herself in front of Melvin. Because that definitely wouldn’t be good, would it?

While she concentrated on the ground before her, the ball was launched towards the tumultuous mass of people. The ball erred in the sheer force of the wind, drawing near to her. One moment, she was walking, standing on the ground, and the next, she was lying, her face to the sky and her back to the dirt, with an enormous pressure settled on top of her. She could barely breathe, and her vision was blurry.

As the fog in her sight cleared, she could barely make out a face, as well as a blurry blob of golden strands, as well as folds of red fabric.

Oh no.

As she was walking, the ball listed close to her, and Melvin dove in a desperate lunge to get the ball and to win the brief rush of glory that came with it. In that unfortunate decision, he had crashed into Ondine, and now they were lying, faces inches apart. Ondine could barely breathe, probably from the fall, but also likely from the sheer proximity of their faces and the sheer opportunities that came with it. Seconds later, the pressure was gone, replaced with a numb empty cold where it used to be, accompanied by a sharp, harsh voice.

“GODDAMMIT, THAT WOULD’VE BEEN A PERFECT CATCH IF YOU HADN’T GOTTEN IN MY WAY! THANKS A LOT FOR SCREWING THIS UP!”

Unable to face the sheer embarrassment and disappointment in herself, she immediately got up, and sprinted as fast as she could in the opposite direction, to who knows where. Away.

The next few minutes was all a blur. She felt dizzy, her head was pounding, and she remembered, albeit barely, herself almost crashing into several trees, and narrowly missing a frizzy haired girl wearing black and carrying a notebook. She heard, albeit barely, the pounding of steps, and angry-sounding yells, carrying off in the opposite direction. She smelled, albeit barely, the faint, fresh smell of moist bark and the leaves of plants and trees and tasted the copper of blood. She felt, albeit barely…. well, she barely knew what she felt, but she would figure that out later, after she sat down and took a goddamn rest and figured everything out. She sat down, right there on the grass, not giving a damn about grass stains and tried to remember, and tried to forget.

This went on for a week. Every day Ondine would tell Andy that everything was fine at school and things were going great with Melvin. She even told him that she held Melvin’s hand. Andy and Ondine took turns squealing and jumping on the bed that night. And Andy never did anything like that. He’s not the squealing type.

One day Melvin and his friends were tormenting Ondine when a girl went up to them and shouted, “Fuck off, dickheads!” She had dark skin and a wild mess of black springs for hair.

“Thanks,” Ondine whispered, her eyes still fixed on Melvin.

“Your welcome, I just couldn’t see them do that to you anymore. I think it’s been longer but I’ve seen it for a week,”

“Yeah,” Ondine said, very distracted.

“Anyways, let’s get to know each other since I kind of just saved your life and all,” she said.

“Hey! You didn’t save my life,” Ondine replied changing her focus to the girl.

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes, “Anyways, I’m Aaliyah, my grandmother moved here from Africa and I’m extra special because I have blue eyes, see?” She widened her eyes as Ondine rolled hers.

“I’m Ondine, I’m from Ethiopia and I’m adopted. How old are you?”

“12, you?”

“13, ha,”

“Shut up! You’re glad I saved you,”

“I didn’t need saving, FYI, I have a crush on him,” Ondine blurted out, as soon as she said it her hand flew to her mouth.

“Whoops,” she whispered.

“What? That is horrible,” and the more Ondine looked at him, the more she despised him.

“You’re right, I’m an idiot to think otherwise,”

“I’m always right,” Aaliyah responded.

“Sure,” Ondine shrugged, laughing.

Ondine got home and Andy was there. He had a sad look on his face.

“What happened?”

“Bad news with Lily,”

“What?”

“She almost stopped breathing, it’s getting worse, she should have recovered a week ago, Alex and John thought it might be best to spend a few nights at the hospital. Well, John is staying at the hospital and Alex at Laf & Herc’s but that’s next to the hospital,”

“Oh,” Ondine stumbled as she moved backwards.

“O-Ok, um, is it okay if I go um out, um, ”

“Sure,” Andy said, “Be home by six, don’t go farther than two blocks,”

Ondine nodded and ran to Melvin’s house.

“What do you want?” he said.

“I want you to know that you are a jerk,” she said and ran outside. She was wearing just a sweater and it was twenty degrees. To make it worse, It had started raining. Ondine stumbled into a shop.

“Do you have a address or phone book?” The shop owner nodded and found Aaliyah’s parents. She memorized the address and knew where it was. It was farther than two blocks but Ondine ran to Aaliyah’s small apartment. Her parents greeted her with open arms and Aaliyah listened. Soon it was 6:30.

“Oh no. I need to leave. Now,” Ondine said storming to the door and heading out into the rain.

“We can drive you,” Mrs. Smith offered but Ondine shook her head and ran home. Her phone was dead. She came home to a pale Andy. Andy immediately started yelling.

“How could you leave? I checked everywhere. I walked two blocks each direction! Not even a damn text! You left! 30 minutes late! Who knew what could have happened? You disobeyed everything I said! I’ve been scared out of my mind! You realize if something were to happen to you I would never forgive myself, Alex and John would hate me. I was about to call them!”

“I-”

“J-J-Just go to your room!” Ondine silently walked to her room blinking back tears.  A couple minutes later Andy showed up.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey,” Ondine answered.

“I’m sorry, I overreacted, I was just worried.”

“I’m sorry, I should’ve listened to you,”

“So, how is school?”

“I don’t like Melvin. He is a jerk. He tried to kiss me and I told him I wasn’t ready and he has being mean ever since,”

“Don't tell John that, he'd probably murder Melvin, but if it makes you feel any better, you get to see Jack tomorrow,”

“Wait, isn’t she in college? Aren't _you_ supposed to be in college?”

“Winter break started a couple days ago,”

“That sounds fun,” Ondine’s mood lightens a bit. Andy kissed Ondine’s forehead.

 

**Ondine's POV**

I woke up early and climb down to the lower bunk, where Lily will sleep when she’s older. Then I run to his room and jump on him.

“What?” he asks groggily.

“We’re going to Jack’s!” I remind him.

“I just want to sleep though…”

“No, we’re going. Up.”

I quickly change and brush my teeth, then I grab a banana for breakfast. We catch the bus and soon I excitedly ring Jack’s doorbell. I smile as I look up at her. Suddenly I'm shy.

“Hey Jack,” Andy kisses Jack in greeting. “This is Ondine,”

“Hi,” I whisper. Jack starts talking and I soon am very comfortable. Andy takes a call. Meanwhile, I end up telling Jack about Melvin. I feel guilty because I told her I was being bullied for a month. I only told Andy about the kissing part. I feel sad but I am distracted by the story of Jack’s past. Andy comes back smiling.

“Good news, Lily is so much better and she’s out of Intensive Care,”

“That’s great!” I cry and hug Jack. Andy’s arms spread to accept the next hug and I tackle him.

“When is she coming home?”

“Should be one week,”

“And then 3 days home recovery,” he adds.

“She’ll be completely better by Christmas!” I shout and hug Jack again who is smiling. Tears come to my eyes.

“My Lily Tiger will be home,” I whisper

“Yes she will be,” Jack whispers back.

 

**Andy's POV**

The next day Jack calls. She wants to talk to Ondine. This keeps happening. We go to her house and if I leave they go into Jack’s room. Maybe Jack doesn’t even love me anymore. Maybe she uses me for Ondine. Maybe this relationship wasn’t meant to be. My life is falling apart faster than a Nature Valley granola bar. Jack doesn’t like me. How will I go on? I guess I have Alex and John but they are taking care of Liliane and have no time to even think about me. I thought Ondine would always be by my side but I guess I was wrong. Maybe I shouldn’t trust anyone. Maybe this family just took longer to see how fucked up I ACTUALLY am. I’m an adult now, they’re not obligated to take care of me. Nobody wants to be around me.. Maybe I cause to much trouble. I could get a job and pay for my own college. That way they will like me. Just because they don’t love me doesn’t mean that I don’t love them. But do they deserve my love? Yes. I will always have faith in them no matter how much they hate me. They would tell me otherwise. They don’t know that their smiles don’t cover up their lies. This goes on until Christmas Eve. I basically hate myself and convince myself that I am a failure until the Christmas party with The Squad and other people I don’t know. I am in near the fire when Jack walks up and sits down next to me.

 

**Jack's POV**

“Look, Andy. I’m not using you for Ondine. I know you feel like that. Peggy told me,”

“Oh,” he says, distracted by the fire. I see the flames dancing up and down open up something inside of him. An anger. But also happiness. The flames dance in his brown eyes which almost look hazel because of the light. I smile. He sees me.

“What?” he turns to me and for a moment his eyes fill with love, as soon as I smile again his eyes turn dark, filled with sorrow and sadness.

“I love you,”

“You do?”

“Yes,” They are simple words but powerful. His eyes get softer and they are teeming with passion.  

“I love you too,” he smiles. I lean in to kiss him and I do. It is soft and unexpected and our longest kiss yet. Though we’ve kissed a lot, this one feels special. When I pull back to get air I can feel the love lingering and I feel his lips. I can still smell the scent of pine needles that his breath carries. I can sense his smile with my eyes closed. I let him rest his head on me and he smiles.

“I just love having practically a sibling,” I explain about Ondine.

“Easy Flapjack, we’re not married,” he jokes. At least he didn’t call me Jackson. He likes to pretend my full name is Jackson which is really cute but I always deny that I like it.

“Yet,” I laugh.

“Mmmmhmm,” I know we’re joking but part of me feels a connection to Andy I haven’t felt in any boy. I can actually imagine a future where Andy is my husband. I snap out of my fantasy and grab Andy’s hand.

“Come on, the party is starting,”

“Okay, Okay,” he says with a small smile. There’s that spunk back in him. Who knew that three words could change everything. Soon we find Maria and Alex under the mistletoe.

“I believe there has been a mistake here.” Alex laughs.

“Yes,” Maria says nodding.

“But you have to kiss,” John smiles. He just finds this whole thing amusing.

“Yeah,” Eliza agrees, nudging John. Soon everyone is telling them to kiss.

“Well?” Maria say.

“Can’t say no,” Alex shrugs and with disgusted faces Alex and Maria’s lips jam together like a traffic accident. Eliza and John basically break down laughing.

“Ok, I did it, stop bugging me!” Alex said as he made his way to John.

"Ugh, nope. Still gay." Maria says with partial legitimate disgust.

"Excuse me?" Alex looks taken aback and falls back into John's embrace. "I'm hurt. I can't recover from this."

“I believe Eliza should be there,” Alex pushed Eliza under the mistletoe. Eliza kissed Maria and Maria didn’t get down on her knees or anything. She just held Eliza’s hand and said, “Eliza, I love you so much and I couldn’t imagine living in a world without you. I couldn't fathom growing old with anybody else, nor would I wish to. When we first met, I felt like a space in my heart that had been empty for the longest time was finally filled, and that my life was complete. No one holds my heart the way you do. I look in my heart and see you. What I'm trying to ask is, will you marry me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are much appreciated! Please do so we know whether people are still reading or not.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say yes, say yes; Preschool; Moo.

**Jack's POV**

Andy looks surprised, as if he didn’t know it was going to happen eventually, when Angelica, John, Peggy, Alex and I all have knowing faces

“Yes! Of course!” Eliza answered and kissed Maria for such a long period of time I thought they were both going to die from lack of oxygen. But they survived, barely, as they hugged each other. There were congrats and I just kept laughing at Andy’s surprised face.

“What’s wrong?” I joke and I step closer towards him.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about how I would propose to you,” he jokes back.

“No need, I’m an independent woman, I’ll propose to you,”

“Alright, care to join me under the mistletoe?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” I kiss him until he is going to faint, either from oxygen loss, or how amazing I look in the dress Amy bought me.

“So lovebird, what are you getting me for Christmas?” I joke.

“An engagement ring,” Andy jokes, continuing the joking topic of marriage.

“Ooooh, that does sound nice,” I raise my eyebrows.

“What about you?”

“I thought I’d get you a suit for our wedding because you’re not the most―um―fashionable,” I gesture to his mismatched socks.

**Third Person**

Ondine jumped on Andy.

“What?”

“It’s Christmas!” she smiled, even though she knew Santa didn’t visit her, Santa visited Lily of course, there were still loads of presents from people. Alex got Lily a tiger stuffed toy and other things. John got Lily toys and Andy got Lily some arts and crafts stuff and a coffee mug. Ondine was glad she wasn’t expected to buy gifts yet. Ondine got socks, pillows, a new Harry Potter box set with all the books including the Cursed Child! AND tickets to see Over the Water, only the best play ever, in her mind at least. Andy mostly got band t-shirts, headphones, and he got a pen that was really fancy, and he also got tickets to see The Death of a Bachelor tour. John and Alex gave each other inside jokes that no one else got.

“There is one last present.” John smiled at Alex.

**Ondine's POV**

They came out of the living room holding a puppy..

“Moo!” Lily laughed as she walked to the dog.

“Cow goes moo!” she added. We all nodded. That was a sufficient name, Moo was Lily’s best pal.

“Lily tiger!” I’d call.

“Yes Ondi?” She used to not be able to pronounce ‘n’ sounds, and now it kinda just stuck.

“Moo wants you,”

“MOO!” she would screech and run to hug Moo around the neck.

“You’re a good girl, Moo, yes you are,” she would whisper.

“He’s a boy,” I pointed out. Lily would roll her eyes, something she learned from _someone_ , as I look at Andy.

"Are you accusing me?" Andy asked

"Yes, yes I am."

"Rude." Anyways, Andy went back to college and one year later Andy was a junior, Lily was three and Moo was also three. Lily was so happy, until February 8. Andy was home for the weekend because his school was only a two hour drive away from home. Moo got into our trash. He ate grapes. A whole bunch of them. He got sick. Went to the vet. We saw him die. In front of our eyes. We watched as he thumped his tail one more time. I had my head buried into Andy’s chest. Alex and John were holding the other’s hand, their eyes brimming with tears. I saw a silent tear drip down Andy's cheek. “I love you, too,” I whispered.

Lily was confused.

“Where is Moo?” she asked constantly.

“When will he wake up?” The questions were endless. Her birthday was fun. I guess. She was happy. She didn’t understand death. How horrible it was.

 

\--- ---

**John's POV**

Lily’s first day of preschool is tomorrow, which is good, seeing as both Alex and I work full-time. Hopefully she’ll make some friends.

The next morning, I wake up to Lily jumping on the bed.

“Daddy, daddy! Wake up! I have to go to school!” I check the time, to confirm her statement. _5:49_.

“We still have a little more than 3 hours.”

“How many minutes is that?”

“180.”

“That’s looooooong…” She made sure to drag out the vowel to convey just how boring that time was.

“Why are you awake anyway?”

“I can’t sweep. I wanna sweep with you guys”

“Um…sure I guess. But you have to sleep, because, surprisingly, Papa’s still asleep.”

“Okay, I’ll be quiet. Shhh…” She took time with all her syllables. Soon, we were all asleep.

**Lily's POV**

I’m going to school today! I think I will LOVE school.

“NO! I don’t want to wear it.” I shout.

“Why not Lily?” Daddy asks, tired.

“I wanna twirly dress,” Daddy groans.

“Let me see if I can do something about that issue,” he says as I smile.

“What’s a issue?”

“A problem.”

“Ohhhh…” This is what Andy and Ondi do when the un-der-stand something. I am going to preschool when I get um, I think, um, nur-vus. I don’t wanna leave Papa and Daddy but they tell me that it is okay over here. I don’t like it but after I cry a little bit and Papa tells me that at the end of the day, we can go get ice cream. I go inside the classroom. My teacher teaches us reading but I know how to read. Papa taught me. I do not like the thing we’re doing where we have to write about ourselves I told someone I had two daddys but then they said that that was weird and the I remember how I see a lot of girls with boys with a kid. Then I think that this is not normal. Two daddys are not normal. I am sad- Daddy said ashamed?- or ashamed of my daddys. But I do not tell my daddys.

“How was your first day?”

“Really fun!” I squeal and we go to ice cream to be happy about me going to school. After that, we go home, and they can see that something isn’t okay.

“Is something wrong Lily?” Daddy asks me.

“NO! I’m not telling you that some kids at school said that having two daddys was weird,” I clap my hands over my mouth. “Oopsies.”

“Lily, you know that you can tell us anything, right?”

“I know…I just didn’t want you guys to worry. I can handle them, I’m a big girl!”

“Okay Lily…However,I want you to tell us if they say or do anything else.”

“Okay, okay, I get it. But, I know I shouldn’t be-wee-ve them, but is it not normal to have two daddys?” Daddy and Papa look at each other.

“It’s, um, unusual,” Papa tries to say.

“What does un-oo-shul mean?” I ask.

“Not common,”

“But is it wrong?”

“No.” Daddy rushes. We eat without talking and I go to sleep. I look up at the wooden boards above my bed that’s under Ondi’s.

“Ondi?” I whisper.

“Yes, Lily Tiger?”

“Today I saw Rosalind and I got fuzzy inside and then she said hi to me and I said hi back and I was happy,” 

**Ondine's POV**

What? _My_ Lily Tiger, a crush?

“Liliane?”

“Yes?”

“You have something called a crush,”

“Oh?”

“It’s when you want to date someone, maybe kiss them, always be with them, they make you happy,”

“But I’m only four how do I want to date someone?”

“For you, it will be a bit tamer, for example you want to hang out with Rosalind, or she makes you smile,”

“Oh, have you ever had a squish?”

“A crush,” I laugh,

“Yes,”

**Lily's POV**

“Who?” I can hear her start to cry.

“Ondi?”

“Yeah, Tiger?” she sniffles trying to sound normal. I put my head in the pillow,

“You don’t have to tell me about your crush,” I whisper.

“It’s okay. So there was a boy named Melvin and I liked him and he liked me. We were really close and nice and the he invited me over to his house, We were only thirteen, two years younger that I am now and he leaned in to kiss me, and I told him that I wasn’t ready to kiss. Ever since then he’s been a jerk to me. At least Aaliyah is by my side, but it’s not like you’d get it anyways,” She said turning around. I climb into her bed.

“Ondi? I do get it. There are these boys who every day tease me because Papa and Daddy pick me up. Then Rosalind told them STOP but they keep going and I feel bad cause Rosalind is suf-er-ing,” Ondi sat up in bed.

“Liliane, why didn’t you tell someone?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James Reynolds is a dick, this is a known fact

**Lily's POV**

“I don’t want them to worry, I already caused them enough trouble when I was in the doctor,” We both have tears.

“You remember that?”

“Yes, Papa and Daddy would whisper about how expensive my treatment was, or how they had to spend hours off of work. They think I don’t think, I mean, un-der-stand it but I do,” I start to cry.

“Hey, Lily. Why don’t you sleep up here for tonight?”

“Okay.” I wipe the tears from my face.

“Under one condition though: you need to tell them what you told me tonight. It would make me happy if you did.”

“Fiiiine…”

  **Eliza's POV**

Andy is finally home,! Oh the joy! I walk home and flop on the couch to see Maria sobbing her eyes out.

“Maria?” I cautiously asked. She just sobbed.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” I softly add. All I’m able to get out of her is

“He’s back.”

\--- ---

“What?” I say.

“Nothing,” she says and tries to pull herself together. I'm suddenly angry. She is my fiance, she can’t do this. _Calm down, she’s crying, don’t be so selfish._

“Maria? It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, I’m your soon to be wife, I trust you, and I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. I would fly to the moon and back if it made you happy,” I softly kissed her when she pulled away,

“I can’t” she whispered. “I can’t marry you, I can’t put this on you, no, I just can’t,” she rushed.

“Maria, why? I love you,”

“No,” she said calmly gradually getting louder, “Eliza, just stop,” she cried and reluctantly I grabbed my coat. I ran to Alex’s and let myself into Ondine’s room. My eyes are red.

“What happened?” Ondine asked.

“Maria doesn’t even love me,”

“Why?”

“I’m scared that she’s tired of me,”

“Why?”

“Everyone gets tired of me,” I look up at Ondine, I can feel the tears streaming down my cheeks,

“I will never get tired of you,” she whispered,

“I love you,” I sniffle.

“Now,” she starts, “Let’s go talk to Maria,” and she drives me home. I think about how soon she won’t just have a learner’s permit but a real license. I head into the kitchen and leave them alone.

  **Ondine's POV**

“Um, Maria,”

“Yes?” her eyes are puffy from crying.

“Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” I ask.

“You can’t tell Lizzy,”

“I won’t” I nod.

“Well, once I had this boyfriend named James, James Reynolds and he, um, he was great. I mean, he really wasn’t, I just kept telling myself that. Until one day he assaulted me. Um, yeah, he also sometimes he hit me whenever something wasn’t to his satisfaction. I mean, the relationship had been abusive for a while but I had managed to convince myself that everything was fine. That our relationship was ideal. He didn’t say sorry or anything, but he acted like he loved me. I mean I thought he loved me. It was the exact opposite. I was technically still with him when I first started being slightly-more-than friends with Eliza. And like, eventually he left me alone, he stopped you know, assaulting me. Of course until yesterday. He found me. And it happened…so yes, and Eliza can’t know. I can’t have her know. She might get hurt, mentally and physically so I can’t marry her and I have to call the wedding off,”

“Let’s take legal action,” I suggest.

“No,” she rushes, “James, he doesn’t give up easily, I have to go to his house tonight, I’ll tell Eliza I have a work event and I can’t make it home till probably midnight-ish, I mean, it goes quick, I don’t bother to persist anymore, he always wins…” she suddenly looks at me angrily, “I’m so stupid, talking to a stupid teen!” I grab her arm,

“Once I sort of dated someone named Melvin, he tried to kiss me and I told him I wasn’t ready, so he was a jerk to me until Aaliyah told him to back off and right now you need to take legal action,” I persist.

“No, you don’t know what you’re saying. YOU’RE JUST A SHORT SIGHTED FRESHMAN!” I'm taken aback. All I do is give Maria a hug as she says sorry a million times.

“Even though I know how much you don’t want to, you should take action. It’s for the best,”

“Maybe,” she says. “How do I tell Lizzy?”

“Just tell her the truth. She loves you, and nothing could change that.”

  **Maria's POV**

I stumble home, it’s about midnight. I yawn as I open the door. Eliza is standing there, “Where have you been?” she asks.

“Didn’t I tell you? I had a work dinner,” She gives a look that says she doesn’t believe me.

“Until midnight? Really? Maria, you can’t keep this from me, whatever it is, this has been happening more often since last week, every day, you’re not here,” she looks hurt. “This is a safe space,” she adds.

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes,”

I take a deep breath. “Well, it has to do with a boyfriend I had in freshman year of college. He―it was an abusive relationship. Every time something wasn’t perfect.” I take off my shirt and show her the scars and marks.

“I had somehow managed to convince myself that everything was okay, in a Stockholm Syndrome kind of way, I guess. It started to be more than him just hurting me, he started to um, hurt me in another kind of way. He sexually assaulted me, multiple times, eventually he left, though. Now, what does this have to do with me going out? Well, he told me that if I didn’t come over when he asked, th―that I would lose you. Th―that he would hurt you. I couldn’t have that. So I did what he asked. And my going out every night is the result. I’m sorry for lying to you, Lizzy.” Eliza’s eyes go wide as she tucks her head in my bare stomach. She kisses me and hugs me as hard as ever she reassures me and soon she says,

“You can’t go back,”

“I have to go tomorrow morning,”

“You can’t”

“Eliza, James will hurt you, he’ll rape you or hit you, or he’ll just do something bad and I can’t have that.,”

“I don’t care, I’ll go instead,” she walks out so I know there is no stopping her. _You are so stupid. You are a horrible person. Eliza doesn’t know how far James will go to torture people._ I have flashbacks of college. Ropes, blood, bruises…Eliza can’t go through that. So, I put my foot down. I’m going, not her. And this will be the last time, because tomorrow I am taking legal action.

I take a cab home, this time I tried to fight him. I rub my shoulder which has a new bruise. That didn’t work out in my favor. Eliza’s waiting awake for me and when I get home, she doesn’t say anything. We just go to sleep in each other’s embrace.

  **Eliza's POV**

Maria comes home in even worse condition than she was before. I was worried before, but that just escalated after seeing her. I don’t say anything, however, and just lead her to our shared bed. She probably doesn’t want to talk about it. I’m going to talk to Alex, if he can do lawyer shit for us. This has gone on far too long, so it’s about time. I woke up in the middle of the night to get water, and that’s when I see the other effect that James has had on Maria: She’s murmuring in her sleep and thrashing about. She’s having nightmares. He did this to her. How sadistic is that fuck? I should wake her. So I do. She wakes up with a start, and immediately bursts into tears. She probably doesn’t want to say anything, but I need to evaluate how severe this is.

“There was so much blood, Lizzy. So much blood...”

“Shh...you’re not with him anymore. You’re going to be safe. I’ll never let him hurt you, I promise.” I’m trying so hard not to leave right now, track him down, and brutally murder him, that’s how angry this makes me. She reads my mind and says,

“You couldn't do that he will just come back from the dead and murder us,” she responds.

“Imagine, zombie James,” I tease. I get a small laugh out of her. I look at her and smile, she is going to be my wife. Even though she’s only wearing a black tank top and some short red shorts she still looks beautiful.

“You look amazing too,” she smiles and kisses my nose with a laugh. For a moment we forget what is going on. James is out of my mind, any problems ever, everyone is out of my mind except for Maria. It is just me and her, her and me. I smile and fall into her embrace.

**Alex**

elizard: ayo alex fam i need a favor

HAMburger: Whatever you say

elizard: james needs to pay for his behavior

HAMburger: What? Who is James… OH James R. Yeah the word got around, I’m so FUCKING MAD!

elizard: we need lawyer shit from you. we can charge him for domestic violence, extortion, and rape

HAMburger: Wait. Shit. I didn’t know about the rape part… I knew it was domestic violence .. but RAPE? That bastard… I will LITERALLY TEAR HIM APART LIMB BY LIMB AND THEN I WILL FEED HIM TO THE LIONS IN OUR LOCAL ZOO!

elizard: and this is where you come in. we need to bring him to court. we need justice, not murder, cmon you cant kill him. trust me tho, i wanted to too but even if i could i woudnt i rly dont want maria to freak she was so freaked out when i wanted to hurt him

HAMburger: Do you guys have any sort of evidence?

elizard: she has bruises and cuts

HAMburger: Take pictures and send them to me.

elizard sent 7 images

elizard sent an image

HAMburger: Is that her stomach? These are bad, that dick...

elizard: yes she showed me her stomach i mean no duh she showed me her stomach im her fiancé but like you know what i mean ANYWAYS ikr hes such a dick but we’re not going the get anywhere if we just insult him

HAMburger: Yeah, yeah, I know. How recent are these?

elizard: she had just gone yesterday

HAMburger: Wait, why is she going back?

elizard: hes been blackmailing her

HAMburger: WHAT??

elizard: is there another charge for that he told her that if she didnt come he would come after me eventually she stopped fighting back and let him abuse her as if she were a worthless piece of junk

HAMburger: I'll send a complaint to the courts, don't worry.


End file.
